


Hi, my joy

by baramgaebi



Series: Sunflower field [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Everyone Loves Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Fluff, He Loves All Of Them Too, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan Is The Sun, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Mention of sasaengs, Mention of sickness, NCT 2020, Soft Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Sweet Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 17:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30109200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baramgaebi/pseuds/baramgaebi
Summary: And maybe it should be like that - Donghyuck being strong and unfaltering in front of the cameras, but letting his vulnerability seep through whenever he’s alone with them.Or: Donghyuck grows up surrounded by love and care.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Kim Jungwoo & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Moon Taeil, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Nakamoto Yuta, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Sunflower field [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2218818
Comments: 26
Kudos: 273





	Hi, my joy

In Johnny’s opinion, Donghyuck is the most unique maknae of all. And he knows - he’s biased. Doyoung tells him that almost every day, complaining about favoritism (as if he’s not the one spoiling Donghyuck on a daily basis).

On the surface, he’s probably what people think of when they hear the word _maknae._ He likes being babied and has plenty of adorable habits that make him look cute, not only in the eyes of his fellow members, but also fans. He has no qualms about acting cute if he knows that he can get something out of it (and so Mark, Jaehyun and Johnny himself become his most frequent victims). He’s mischievous in a way that instantly makes people fond of him. 

It’s when they become roommates that Johnny realizes that there’s more to Donghyuck than he originally thought. He’s surprisingly tidy, always putting away his things after using them. He watches his own fancams a lot, but Johnny is quick to realize that he’s doing it to monitor himself, eyes watchful of any mistakes. It’s a side of Donghyuck that he sometimes catches a glimpse of when he sees Dream together. He’s still loud and bright, but other boys rely on him naturally, like they just know he’s someone who can be depended upon. 

It still catches him off guard sometimes, because he remembers Donghyuck on his first day as a trainee - little kid, with a mischievous smile, full of energy and ready to pull a prank. Johnny became a part of NCT 127 later than most of the members, but he instantly knew the feeling shared between them - they have to make sure that Donghyuck grows up feeling protected and loved. 

And he grows up strong, independent and dependable. Johnny sometimes looks at his small back and wonders when exactly that sight turned reassuring for him. They don’t have to worry about him. He doesn’t know when it happened, but Donghyuck became an admirable adult and only sometimes Johnny finds himself regretting that it happened so quickly. He guesses that now the only thing left is supporting him and helping in maintaining his confidence, so he can continue on shining even more brightly on his own. 

It’s when they’re performing in Japan that he’s reminded just how much Donghyuck needs them sometimes.

Their schedule is packed from the very morning - they’re supposed to eat breakfast together and then head to the concert venue to rehearse. Slowly, one by one, the members show up at breakfast - all except their youngest member. Johnny has been up for a long time already, done both with his meal and morning jog, so he volunteers to go and wake Donghyuck up. 

Donghyuck was actually supposed to room with Doyoung, but he was transfixed on getting a single room ever since their manager announced that one of them will be lucky to have a room to himself. Jaehyun was the one who won the exhausting game of paper-rock-scissors, but Donghyuck was always the one to seize the opportunity and so, after a few minutes of excessive aegyo, their youngest member was the one with the key to the most wanted room. Taeyong even joked that at least he made sure to use it fully, because he didn’t stay with other members in the leader's room and instead retired early to bed. 

(It’s not until a few days later that Johnny realizes what it actually meant.)

“Haechannie,” he says loudly, knocking on the door to the younger boy’s room. “It’s time to wake up. We have a concert today, remember?”  
He waits a bit, expecting Donghyuck to open the door and confirm that he’s actually awake. But a few seconds of complete silence turn into minutes and Johnny decides on trying to open the door. He frowns when it opens without any resistance. 

“Haechan-ah,” he calls out, wary. “Did you leave your door unlocked for a whole night? It’s dangerous.”

He peeks in cautiously when there’s no answer, because by now he’s half-convinced that Donghyuck has already left the room, somehow forgetting about locking the door. But then he sees a lump on the bed that is definitely Donghyuck and he sighs, resigned. 

“I know you’re tired,” he says, sitting on the edge of bed. Sometimes the only way to get Donghyuck out of bed is by being gentle. “But you need to get up now, Haechannie. You still need to eat before rehearsal.”

Donghyuck is stubborn - probably the most stubborn out of them all - but he usually reacts to Johnny's words with _something,_ be it a tired groan or fruitless escape from his touch. This time, however, he stays motionless in his bed, not letting out the tiniest sound. 

“Haechan-ah?” he calls, touching his shoulder and shaking him lightly.

Donghyuck finally turns slightly and opens his eyes, but they’re shining and glossy. He groans lowly, trying to shake off the remains of sleep to no avail, and then coughs loudly. It doesn’t sound right. Worried, Johnny slides his palm up to Donghyuck’s forehead and pulls back instantly when he feels how hot his skin is. 

“Shit,” he whispers, blindly reaching for his phone. He dials Taeyong’s number without taking his eyes off Donghyuck. The younger boy watches him with half-opened eyes, but looks like he doesn’t understand what’s happening around him. 

“Taeyong,” he says as soon the leader picks up. “Find somebody from the staff and come to Donghyuck’s room. I think he’s sick.” 

Taeyong doesn’t ask any questions, just agrees and disconnects the call, probably already in search of one of their managers. 

“Hyung,” Donghyuck calls out, trying to sit up.

“No, no, no getting up,” he scolds, pushing him down gently. “You’re sick, Haechannie.”

Donghyuck tries to protest, but then he starts having another coughing fit and he sounds absolutely _awful._ Johnny helps him sit up and rests his palm on his small back, rubbing it gently. He can feel the unhealthy warmth radiating off the younger boy even through the material of the shirt Donghyuck is wearing. After a while Donghyuck calms down and slumps against Johnny’s chest. With Donghyuck still in his arms, he manages to reach out for a bottle of water left on the night table and hands it to the younger boy, watching as he takes small sips only to end up coughing once again. Taeyong and their manager come into the room a few seconds later. 

“What’s going on?” Taeyong asks, walking over to them quickly. He rests his one knee on the bed and reaches for Donghyuck’s face, cradling it between his hands. “Haechan-ah, what’s wrong? Does it hurt anywhere?”

“He’s got a high fever,” Johnny explains when Donghyuck fails to answer. “He’s practically out of it.”

“Okay, you two, back off a little,” the older man says, but only Taeyong moves away to give him space for a closer inspection. Johnny stays in his place, with Donghyuck still in between his arms.

Their manager places his hand on Donghyuck’s forehead and Johnny can tell from the expression on his face that he doesn’t feel good about it. 

“Haechannie,” he says, leaning back a little. “How are you feeling?”  
“I…” Donghyuck tries to say and his voice sounds weak and meek, nothing like him. “I think I’m sick, hyungs, _I’m sorry._ ”

“Don’t say sorry, baby,” Taeyong replies instantly but Donghyuck doesn’t even react to his words. He furrows his brows and throws a worried look in Johnny’s direction, before turning to their manager. “What are we going to do now?”

“I’m going to call someone from the medical team,” the older man decides, getting up from the bed and reaching for his phone from the pocket of his jeans. “He’s in no condition to rehearse, so I’ll stay with him here. You’re going back to your schedule.”

“But-” Taeyong tries to protest and Johnny tightens his arms around Donghyuck without really thinking about it. 

“I know you’re worried about him, but you have a concert tonight and you have to prepare. And we can’t afford for one of you to catch whatever he’s having.”

Johnny knows he’s right - and he can see in Taeyong’s eyes that he knows that too - but it’s hard to let go of Donghyuck, when he’s this vulnerable and clearly in need of someone to take care of him. He looks at Taeyong, who breathes in heavily and reaches out to ruffle Donghyuck’s unruly hair, tucking some of the loose strands behind his ear before standing up. Johnny moves the younger boy out of his arms and back to the bed, making sure to cover him thoroughly after realizing that the back of his neck is covered with goosebumps. Donghyuck just looks at him sleepily. The fact that he didn’t protest about not being able to participate in the concert says more about his condition than anything else. 

Johnny sends him a small, weak smile.

“Try to rest, bud. I’ll bother Doyoung for you today.” 

Donghyuck smiles at that and moves his head in the direction of the door as if to usher them out. 

“I’ll update you on his condition whenever I can,” their manager promises. They both nod their heads before leaving the room. 

They’re both silent in the elevator, probably thinking about the same thing. He sees Taeyong wringing his hands nervously, so he reaches out to squeeze his shoulder in a comforting gesture. 

When they arrive in the hall, the rest and the managers are already waiting for them, ready to head out. It’s Doyoung who first notices the absence of their youngest member.

“Where’s Donghyuck?” he asks, causing the others to look around. “Did he oversleep?”

“He’s sick,” Taeyong says. “We don’t know what it is, but he’s got a high fever. Hyung already called the doctor, but we’ve to go to rehearsal without him. I don’t know about the concert.”

Johnny frowns at his words. To him Donghyuck looked too much out of it to even consider getting out of the bed, but they probably _will_ try to stuff him with enough medication to somehow make it through the whole concert. Or at least a part of it. 

“But he was fine yesterday,” Mark says, stepping out and probably thinking that he can make a mad dash towards Donghyuck’s room to check up on him himself. 

“Looks like it got worse really quickly,” Taeyong answers.

“Is it bad?” Taeil asks, ever the one who gets to the point the fastest. 

Taeyong falls silent at that and Johnny knows what he’s supposed to do - tell them that it’s just a fever and Donghyuck will probably laugh at all of them for worrying about something trivial like this. But Johnny has been sharing a room with their maknae for some time already and he’s witnessed him being exhausted, angry, sad, troubled and even resigned, but he’s never seen him like today. 

Apparently his silence is more telling than any words, because he can see their faces twisting in worry. 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Taeyong says finally and he tries to sound confident, but Johnny guesses his silence has already done the damage. 

In the end, they’re ushered to their cars by managers, even if Mark throws an unsure glance in Taeyong’s direction on their way out of the hotel. 

“He just looked like he didn’t know what’s going on around him,” Johnny explains to Jaehyun on their way to the concert venue. Jaehyun bites his lip and furrows brows, but doesn’t say anything.

When they start the rehearsal, the drop in their mood is obvious. They talk less between each other and most of them frequently look at their phones in hope of getting any updates. It feels a lot like the beginning of Donghyuck’s hiatus the previous year, except now it’s _worse,_ because they have no idea how the younger boy is feeling. The staff is trying to be understanding at first - most likely worried about the maknae as well - but when the time of concert is nearing, they start losing patience. 

“Give me your phones,” their choreographer says when she becomes fed up with them. Doyoung sighs loudly but agrees, while Mark looks crestfallen. The woman doesn’t react to his puppy eyes though, just holds out her hand expectantly. Both of them comply, and when she turns to the other members, they give their phones, too. 

They return to the rehearsal and Johnny decides to join Yuta’s efforts to lift up the mood. It works, at least a little, but he can’t help but think bitterly from time to time: _where the hell is this goddamn update?_

“Hyung!” Mark calls out and Johnny turns around, confused.The manager that stayed with Donghyuck has just entered the venue and Johnny thinks for a split second that they really drugged the boy up and dragged him to rehearsal. But the manager is obviously alone, waving at them to gather around. 

“Haechannie’s fine, more or less,” he says before they can say anything. “Apparently it’s a very nasty flu, but he also complains a lot about muscle pains. The doctor decided that he should rest today and tomorrow. The statement will be out soon.” 

“How is his fever?” Taeyong asks instantly, probably worrying about the same very thing that Johnny keeps thinking about. 

“It went down a little,” their manager reassures. “They gave him some medication and it’s starting to kick in. He’s probably sleeping by now. It really tired him out.” 

Johnny recalls how the younger boy didn’t have enough strength to sit up in bed on his own and decides that sleeping is probably the only thing he’s capable of in his current condition. 

“I left him with our medical staff, just in case. Here’s his letter to fans, you can read it during the concert,” the older man says, passing the paper to Taeyong. “He also said to check your group chat?” 

He cocks an eyebrow at them, because he knows that some of them are literally glued to their phones, so it’s probably weird that they have to be reminded to check if they got any messages. All of them look at their choreographer at the same moment, silently asking for permission, which is given with a resigned sigh. 

When Johnny unlocks his phone, there is indeed a message from Donghyuck waiting for them in their group chat. 

_You’ll be sooooo less cool without me there_

_but fighting, hyungs!!!_

The message is followed by a string of cute emoticons that Donghyuck is so fond of these days and Johnny finds himself sighing with relief. 

“Okay,” their manager says, clapping his hands once. “Return to your positions. You have to rehearse things without Haechannie. Make him proud tonight.” 

They manage to end the rehearsals, eat a much needed meal, rest a bit and then they start a concert. It’s not their first time performing without Donghyuck, but Johnny still finds himself looking to his left during ments, only to look at equally disappointed Mark. Donghyuck would probably have a field day seeing how bummed out the older boy is without him by his side. 

They wrap up the concert in high spirits despite the obvious exhaustion and unvoiced worry lingering among them. As soon as they finish, the manager tells them that Donghyuck is _fine_ and scolds Doyoung for hurrying the rest of the members. Johnny manages to change before most, partially because he wants to escape Doyoung’s wrath and partially because he wants to check up on their maknae too. Mark sits beside him on the couch, with make up still on his face and buzzing phone in hand. Johnny casts a curious glance at him and the boy sighs slightly. 

“It’s the kids,” he explains with a pinched expression. “I guess they read the statement and messaged Donghyuck. Apparently he told them he’s fine, but then stopped replying. I told them he’s probably sleeping, so they’re ganging up on me now.” 

Johnny smiles a little at that, because Dream members don’t really need an excuse to gang up on Mark, but if they are worried, then it must be rather intense. 

The ride back to the hotel is silent, save for constant buzzing coming from Mark’s phone. They get out of the car and gather in the manager's room at the record time, looking at the older man expectantly. 

“Okay,” he says, letting out a loud sigh. “Good work today, boys. Go to your rooms. We’ll see each other tomorrow at breakfast.”

“What about Donghyuck?” Mark asks instantly. “Can we see him?”

“I know you’re all worried about him, but it’s better if you don't go to him now. We really can’t afford for more people to become sick.”

“Well, isn’t that bullshit,” Yuta says and Taeyong sighs at the crude language, but doesn’t do anything to silence him. “The kid was with us yesterday.”

“He literally kissed me on the cheek last night,” Doyoung deadpans from where he’s standing next to him. 

“And I hope that you didn’t catch whatever he has,” the older man says sternly. “Letting you see him today is too risky, okay? You’ll start preparing for the album once you come back to Korea. You _can’t_ fall sick. And honestly, I don’t want to see any of you in the state he was in today.” 

He must realize that he slipped up too much about Donghyuck’s condition, because he winces when he sees their faces. Small part of Johnny pities him for a moment - it’s clear that now they _won’t_ let up. But the bigger part of him, currently twisted with anxious worry, says: _good._ They all stare in silence at the older man and after a while he sighs, obviously exhausted. 

“One person,” he finally relents. “But you have to wear a mask. I’ll go and tell him to wear one too. And no longer than fifteen minutes.” 

There’s a murmur of dissatisfaction among them, but Taeyong quickly nods his head. 

“Absolutely not,” their manager says instantly, when he sees Mark and Taeyong stepping out without hesitation. “Both of you have SuperM schedules in a few days. We can’t risk them. You’re out of the question.”

“I’ll do it,” Johnny says loudly. He sees Jaehyun crossing his arms and Doyoung making a face, and he knows Taeil probably is a second away from voicing out his opinion, so he adds: “Roommate privileges.”

Doyoung groans at that, letting everybody know how tired he is of that excuse. It somehow helps the whole group relax a little, although worry in Taeyong’s eyes seems to get more and more noticeable. Their manager agrees with Johnny, reminds him to wear a mask and warns the others not to disturb Donghyuck, and exits the room.

“Take care of him or else,” Doyoung threatens and makes an angry face, probably still mad about Johnny being the only one allowed to tend to Donghyuck. Johnny for once doesn’t make fun of him for acting like an embarrassing parent and decides to salute him instead. It seems to satisfy Doyoung, who nods his head and drags away a rectulant Taeyong. 

“Tell him not to worry about the concert,” Taeil adds and Johnny makes sure to remember his words, because it’s Taeil who often seems to understand the best what’s going on inside Donghyuck’s head. “And to rest.” 

“And call us, if both of you need anything,” Jaehyun says, reaching out to squeeze his arm. 

“With the way we’re acting, you’d think the little rascal is actually dying,” Yuta grumbles, but Johnny knows that the lines forming across his forehead are caused by worry. 

“I’ll tell him you love him and miss him already,” he teases and Yuta rolls his eyes, but smiles gratefully. 

The others slowly make their way out of the room - all except Mark, who still stands in his place. Johnny doesn’t really know what he’s thinking, but judging from the look of his face, it’s nothing positive. 

“I’m always away when he needs me the most,” Mark says quietly, looking more upset with each passing second. Then he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Sorry. It shouldn’t be about me.”

“Hey,” he says, reaching out to bring Mark in a side-hug. The younger boy falls into his space willingly, but the haunted expression doesn’t leave his face. “I know you want to take care of him. We all do. But managers are right, your schedules are important. Can you imagine how furious Donghyuck would be if you visited him despite that? He won’t get better if he keeps straining his throat by yelling about how stupid you are.” 

That brings a little, adorable grin on Mark’s face, so he allows himself to smile warmly too. 

“You can’t be there for him, but I will. I’ll take care of him, I promise,” he says and Mark nods his head, but Johnny can tell that there’s more to this situation, something that was in Mark’s head longer than just a half of a day he spent away worrying about Donghyuck’s health. He racks his brain for a second, before squeezing Mark’s shoulder to get his attention. “Tell you what. I’ll go now to leave my stuff at my room and wash up a little before visiting him. It’s enough time for you to run to the convenience store to buy him some juice or fruits he likes the best. He’ll need them and you know his favourites.”

Mark nods and all but dashes out of the building, still in his make-up and bag in hand. Johnny calls out to him to remember about covering his face, but he’s not sure the younger boy even heard him. 

It seems like Mark somehow convinced himself that he’s not enough when it comes to taking care of Donghyuck. And it’s really the worst timing ever, because there’s only one person who can successfully pull Mark out of this negative headspace that he throws himself into from time to time - and this person is Donghyuck himself. 

He decides to tell the younger boy about it a little later - preferably when he’s got enough energy to worry about others. Then he comes back to his room and just as he told Mark, takes a quick shower, hoping to not make Donghyuck wait too long for him, especially after more or less taking the opportunity from the other members. Just when he throws on his sleeping clothes, Mark knocks on his door and comes in with two plastic bags in his hands. 

“It’s definitely too much,” says Johnny, sighing. Mark looks sheepish, but it’s a better look than a beaten-up expression his face was adorned with earlier. “Okay. I’ll take all of them to him. Now you go back to your room, shower and go to sleep.”

“Thanks, Johnny,” Mark says, looking vulnerable. “Make sure he’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Johnny bids him goodbye, reminding once again to sleep early even if he knows the boy will probably ignore his words. After that he leaves too, heading to Donghyuck’s room at the end of the hall. He knocks on the door and thinks about this morning, when he found the younger boy almost passed out from the fever and really hopes that the managers didn’t lie to them and Donghyuck actually feels better. 

He definitely looks better, he notes, coming into the room. Donghyuck is lying in his bed covered almost completely with two blankets. His hair is in a complete disarray and Johnny can’t see his expression clearly because of the mask he’s wearing, but the whole image of him somehow screams tired. But he looks _conscious_ and when he looks up to see who came into the room, his eyes turn into little, adorable crescents.

“Hey, Haechannie,” he greets and smiles when the younger boy waves at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Today I discovered muscles in my body that I didn’t know existed. And all of them _hurt,_ hyung,” Donghyuck confesses. “It was amazing.”

Tone of his voice is light, but Johnny still can feel his insides twist uncomfortably. He looks at Donghyuck’s lap and only then notices the screen of his phone lighting up with some notification. 

“Your head will hurt,” he says, gesturing at the phone and actually hopes that Donghyuck won’t pinpoint that he sounded a lot like Doyoung just now. “What were you doing?”

“Taking screenshots of Renjun threatening to kill me if I ever make him worried like that again,” the boy recites, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Considering making it my wallpaper.”

Johnny snorts at that and finally the weight on his shoulders disappears. He lets himself slump and only then remembers about the bags he brought in.  
“Oh, right, these are for you,” he says, reaching for them and placing them gently on Donghyuck’s lap, next to his phone. “Mark misses you. We all do.” 

“Mark is a loser,” Donhyuck replies with ease, looking into the bag curiously, but Johnny doesn’t miss the way the tips of his ears turn pink. He’s tempted to ask, but as much as he enjoys teasing the two of them about having this - whatever it is between them - he knows when to step back.

He opts to ask him more pressing questions instead - if he wants to eat, does he have enough to drink, does he want to shower? Donghyuck looks like he answered all of these questions hundreds of times already, but is patient and says: _no, I've already eaten, yeah, I have my water, no, my back hurts too much to consider getting up, at least for now_. 

“What about your medicine?” he continues asking. “When do you have to take it?”

“Uh…” The boy squints his eyes and then looks at his phone. “Around 1AM, I think? I have an alarm set up and one of the managers will come to see me, so you don’t have to worry about it.” 

Johnny snorts at that. Worrying about Donghyuck seems ingrained in his brain now that wondering about the younger boy’s state was on his mind for a whole day. 

“Taeil said to not worry about the concert,” he remembers finally and Donghyuck’s eyes turn a little sad at that.  
“I’ll try,” he promises, because he’s always honest with Johnny. “Tell me about today?”

Johnny nods and starts re-telling the concert in the greatest details. Donghyuck listens with attention, sometimes laughing quietly, sometimes nodding in approval, but after a while he becomes unfocused and his eyelids start dropping more frequently. Finally he slumps against the pillow and Johnny gets up to take away the bags from his lap. He makes sure he’s comfortably tucked in, then touches his forehead and while it’s still warm, it’s definitely not as bad as it was in the morning. He checks if the medicine and water are on the night table beside the bed. Donghyuck doesn’t open his eyes when Johnny ruffles his hair, so he decides it’s his cue to leave. 

He comes back to his room after that, intent on catching some sleep as quickly as possible. When he settles into his bed, he sets his alarm for 2AM, because _technically_ their manager didn’t say Johnny couldn’t visit Donghyuck more than once and he decides it’s a perfect time to check if the younger boy did take his medication without stumbling upon anybody. 

He manages to fall asleep rather quickly, exhaustion catching up to him fast. Still, when his alarm starts ringing, he can’t help but feel that it’s been only a few minutes since he closed eyes. He forces himself to get up and shuffles out of the room, trying to be as quiet as possible, despite being disoriented. By the time he reaches Donghyuck’s room, he’s already more or less awake and can’t help but smirk when he sees the familiar figure standing in front of the door. 

“Would you look at that,” he mocks, making the person startle. “Kim Doyoung is becoming a rebel.” 

“Ugh, lay it off,” Doyoung says, scowling. “You’re here for him too, aren’t you? I had to chase away Mark earlier. That brat even sulked at me.” 

Johnny laughs despite himself. 

“What about Taeyong?” he asks, because he knows that while they might be able to hide some things from their managers, there’s really nothing that happens in NCT behind their leader’s back.

“Brooding in his room,” Doyoung replies, sighing. “But he’s being actually responsible, so it’s just pouting and watching puppy videos on his phone. Mark was trying to argue with me.”

“It’s just how they are,” Johnny explains, like he always does whenever somebody complains about their two youngest members. He can’t help but look at the door to Donghyuck’s hotel room. “How is he feeling?”  
“Well, I didn’t see him earlier, so I don’t have an actual comparison. I’d say the worst has already passed. He says he’s feeling better, but you can tell he’s exhausted. I helped him change his clothes, since he sweated a lot. Forced him to eat a litte, too. I guess he’ll be falling asleep any time now.”

“Good job,” Johnny praises softly. “You’ve always taken good care of him.”

Doyoung looks conflicted at that - as if he doesn’t know if he should respond sincerely or use the chance to be snarky, but in the end he just nods. 

“Don’t stay too late with him,” he warns, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder. “We still have a concert tomorrow.” 

True to Doyoung’s words, Donghyuck is on the verge of falling asleep when he slips into the room. He makes a confused noise at the sight of his hyung, but Johnny just soothes him and resorts to petting his hair. 

“Just came to check up on you,” he explains. “Go to sleep.” 

Donghyuck doesn’t fight him, but he does send him a little, barely-there smile, when Johnny brushes his brown hair from his forehead. He falls asleep after that, expression on his face peaceful and familiar. 

“Poor kid,” he says, smiling softly. “We’ll be babying you to the maximum for the next few weeks. Better prepare yourself.” 

* * *

It’s a little funny to Taeil that when other members are asked about their first impression of Donghyuck, they either answer with _very cute_ or _a prodigy._ The only word he can think of when reminiscing about his first meeting with Donghyuck is: _intense._

Their first meeting occurs, of course, in a practice room. Taeil is warming up his throat in front of the mirror when he notices he’s not alone. There are young boys gathered in a small circle in the corner of the room. Most of them are talking quietly, using a break to rest their tired muscles. But there’s one boy who stares right at him, looking quite serious and Taeil faintly recognizes him as one of the trainees who joined the previous month. Taeil nods at him and the boy looks surprised before nodding back and engaging in the conversation with his friends. 

It happens again and again - whenever Taeil catches the sight of the younger boy, he’s looking at him intently, not taking his stare off him even for a second. Finally Taeil learns that his name is Donghyuck, but he doesn’t know much about him. He could be somewhat intimidating, if only his face wasn’t downright adorable and Taeil didn’t witness Johnny throwing the kid over his shoulder on a daily basis. Donghyuck is always full of energy - either dancing, singing, laughing or re-telling some story in hope of making other people smile. Usually he’s loud and bright, a natural center of attention. But he becomes calm and focused whenever he watches Taeil and it doesn’t really bother him, but he begins to think that maybe he somehow wronged the younger boy. 

In the end he decides to ask Johnny about it, because all of the kids flock around him naturally. 

“Donghyuck? Hating somebody?” he repeats incredulously. “He’s a literal ball of sunshine. Sure, a little mean, but I doubt he’s capable of actually hating someone. Especially someone he doesn’t even know that well.”  
“What’s up with all the glaring, then?” Taeil asks back. 

“I don’t know, hyung,” says Johnny, shrugging. “Are you sure it’s glaring? Maybe he just doesn’t know how to approach you.”

It seems like a weird idea, seeing how the younger boy has no qualms about demanding piggyback rides from Jaehyun or teasing Mark about literally _everything._ Most of the time Donghyuck treats the practice room like his playground, so Taeil doubts that somehow he sees him differently from other trainees. 

It countines like that for a few more weeks, until Donghyuck hears Taeil belt out a really high note, and for once he looks intrigued enough to approach the older boy. 

“How did you do that?”

“It’s what my vocal coach taught me,” he says, a little taken aback. He hesitates for a second and then asks: “Want me to teach you?” 

Donghyuck doesn’t look surprised. Instead he grins - it’s the first smile he directs at Taeil, it looks bright and it certainly doesn’t belong to the dim practice room - and nods his head eagerly. 

Taeil has always been incredibly fond of trainees that are still obviously children. He’s almost an adult and his decision to join SM was made after a lot of thinking and consideration. But the kids that start their training while still in middle or elementary school throw away their childhood to chase a dream that will stay unachieved by many of them. It’s a huge sacrifice for somebody whose peers worry about things like math exams or being caught while skipping classes. Donghyuck looks young - maybe around 12-years-old? - but there’s a telling glint in his eyes that speaks volumes of his dedication and Taeil finds himself a little enamoured with the kid. 

And so Taeil finds himself befriending Donghyuck and his friends, despite their age difference. He helps them with homework when they struggle with it. He still drops some hints to Donghyuck about singing sometimes, although the younger boy makes so much progress on his own he decides it’s better to leave directioning him to the professionals.

And so it’s not a real surprise when they’re finally announced to debut and Donghyuck stands on the stage along with him. He’s given a stage name _(Haechan really suits him_ \- Mark comments with an embarrassed expression on his face) and the role of maknae, to which he adapts flawlessly after years of being doted upon both by trainees and their teachers. Meanwhile Taeil finds himself wondering what exactly he should be doing. It’s a little difficult to find a role for himself in a group. He’s the oldest, but he’s not a leader. Doyoung and Johnny easily take over when it comes to taking care of the youngest members.

To his own surprise, the answer lies within their youngest. Not Haechan, an idol with a honey voice who manages to debut in two units in one year, but rather a boy hidden underneath layers of confidence. It’s in the _"_ _I don’t think I did well enough today, hyung "_ whispered to him in the confines of their car. Taeil takes his hand and tells him that everybody makes mistakes, but it’s important to remember them and make sure not to repeat them next time. Donghyuck nods and sinks back in his seat, looking peaceful and calm. 

And maybe this is what younger members need: not another leader or someone who takes care of them, but someone whom they can trust with their fears and doubts, someone who will make them feel at ease even if they’re embarrassed. Being older than the rest usually means that he can deliver a different, more mature insight, but it also sometimes stops younger boys from telling him everything - and he doesn’t want that. Taeil doesn’t really care about being the oldest in the group and when he tells Donghyuck as much, the younger boy tilts his head in an obvious challenge. 

“Then you won’t care if I’ll speak informally to you?” 

“Yeah,” he replies easily, because it’s true. “If that makes you more comfortable? I don’t mind.” 

Donghyuck looks at him with awe then, before smiling and Taeil realizes that this is probably what Donghyuck needs the most right now - someone who will treat him as his equal. He might be the youngest among members of NCT 127, but he’s the eldest in his own family, used to catering to others’ needs. 

He decides to get closer to him, to understand more about him, because Donghyuck is clearly so much more than people see at the first glance. It should’ve been obvious already in their trainee days, with how he would pull onto Mark’s cheeks with no mercy and obnoxious laugh, only to pull away and stare at his seniors with utmost focus and serious face. And the more he gets to know about the younger boy, the lovelier Donghyuck becomes. 

He was obviously raised in a loving and caring home. It’s in the way he looks out for other people, even those older than him, and how easily he showers others with affection and attention. Being loved by Donghyuck feels like a privilege, with how much he’s ready to offer to another person. But he gives out his love so easily, without thinking, like he’s not scared of getting hurt. It’s hard not to love him back. 

He likes physical affection and it’s something that grounds him when he’s unsure of himself. If holding his hand provides Donghyuck some kind of comfort, then Taeil will make sure to grasp his fingers tight. It’s a quiet resolve, one that perhaps isn’t missed by other members or Donghyuck himself, but he’s adamant about growing closer to the younger boy even more. 

And then, Donghyuck injures his leg. Taeil calls him a few times like the rest of the members, to check up on him, to ask how his rehabilitation is going and to make him feel included in activities of the whole group, even if he’s not with them. But it doesn’t take long for him to notice that something isn’t quite right. Donghyuck tells him about his family with honest joy. It’s obvious that he missed them and it’s not really surprising, because he’s one of the members who keep in touch with his family the most. And judging by the stories Donghyuck tells him, his family is just as excited, if not more. It seems like his siblings especially are glad to have their eldest brother to themselves, even if he can’t play with them because of his injury. The younger boy quickly gains some weight, which shows on his round face because his mother and grandmother insist on feeding him the best food. Donghyuck surrounded by his family is a little bit different than Haechan Taeil has come to know - he’s a little bit softer, calmer, and at complete peace.

But then Taeil starts telling him about practices for the concerts and Donghyuck keeps smiling, but the light in his eyes is diminished. And every single time he ends up apologizing to him for injuring himself. 

“Stop saying you’re sorry, Haechannie,” he tells him finally. “What happened isn’t your fault. We don’t blame you. If anything, we’re worried about you. You should focus on yourself, so you can come back to us.”

Donghyuck doesn’t reply, but his eyes shine differently - and Taeil realizes it’s the tears threatening to spill any moment now. 

“You’re not the only one who’s great at performing around here, okay?” he tries to joke and gets a wobbly smile in response. “We’re doing fine. We miss you, obviously. Who wouldn’t? But we don’t blame you. You don’t have to be sorry about injuring yourself.” 

Donghyuck nods, face solemn and Taeil- well, he worries. He ends up calling Donghyuck more often, and the younger boy is obviously grateful and getting smug about it, teasing Taeil about missing him too much. He apologizes less and less, and Taeil feels like it’s enough. 

When he comes back, he still can’t walk by himself, although he insists that he’s fine. He’s silent when Doyoung scolds Taeyong for trying to give Donghyuck a piggyback ride when his back is hurting. He doesn’t even tease Mark, who makes it his goal to not leave his side if he absolutely doesn’t have to. He apologizes to them one more time, but Taeil isn’t even sure if they hear him, because Johnny dives in to hug him and Jaehyun just fondly ruffles his hair, while Doyoung takes his hand in his and squeezes tightly. 

Taeil kisses the top of his head, many times, not resisting the urge even once, even during the concert. Donghyuck just grins up at him, like he wasn’t absent for the last few months, like he didn’t leave his hyungs clueless what to do without him. 

It quickly becomes obvious that Donghyuck doesn’t like talking about his injury. He’ll answer that he’s fine if asked, but Taeil quickly notices that he doesn’t complain about it nor remescince about the time spent with his family. When he asks the younger about it, he shrugs uncomfortably and says: _“I just can’t think about it without regretting a lot of things”._ And Taeil understands it’s something he has to work out by himself. He does so by throwing himself into schedules. 2019 _does_ keep him busy. And so does 2020, although Donghyuck becomes more forgiving to himself, calmer and more collected. It’s a good change, like he’s grown into himself. 

Some things about Donghyuck will never change, though. 

“Playing guitar again?” Donghyuck asks, coming into his room. Taeil nods, not moving from his position on his bed and strumming on the guitar softly. The younger boy observes him quietly, eyes fond.

“You should bring your guitar to my radio and play something,” Donghyuck tells him, clearly excited and Taeil agrees, lips curling into a smile. 

He pats the empty space next to him and Donghyuck happily complies, sitting beside him. The younger boy listens to him play for a few minutes, joining in the singing, but then makes grabby hands at the guitar. Taeil raises an eyebrow but hands him the instrument anyway and suddenly Donghyuck skillfully plays a few chords and beams up at him afterwards, obviously expecting praise. 

“Since when can you play?” he asks, surprised, because Donghyuck plays piano very well and he seemed interested in guitar too, until he decided that he had Mark and Jeno if he wanted someone to play for him. 

“Mark taught me some chords,” the younger boy answers and he looks a little bashful, like he’s just shared some precious secret with Taeil. He smiles.

“Want me to teach you some basic melody, so you can surprise him next time?” he asks mischievously and Donghyuck nods his head quickly, so he gestures for him to give the guitar back. 

Donghyuck does so carefully, scooting closer to Taeil to see what he’s doing. The look in the younger boy’s eyes sharpens immediately when he starts playing and explaining, and Taeil thinks to himself, a little amused: _oh, I haven’t seen this one for a while._

“Pay attention,” he warns, although he knows he doesn’t have to. 

He already has all of Donghyuck's attention and this time, he doesn’t think it’s intense.

It just makes him feel warm. 

(It’s not until NCT 2020 that Taeil shares a story with others about meeting Donghyuck for the first time and the impression he left on him. Ten, who’s sitting the closest to him, lets out a loud laugh. 

“He used to do it to me too,” he confesses. “But it’s not glaring. It’s his _you’re good and I want to be as good as you_ face. Really cute, I miss that baby.”

“Hey!” Donghyuck shouts embarrassed, detangling himself from Mark’s embrace to glare at his elders. “It wasn’t like that. Or, well, it _was,_ but I just didn't know how to approach you. Can’t believe I thought you were _cool.”_

He then looks at Taeil and smiles, reaching out to pat his cheeks and assuring him that he doesn’t have to worry, because he’s obviously the coolest _and_ the most adorable. 

And Taeil looks at him and then at Johnny who isn’t even listening to their conversation, and muses to himself: _huh, who would’ve thought.)_

* * *

There’s something wrong with Donghyuck. 

It’s nothing glaringly obvious, not with the younger's nasty habit of covering whatever is bothering him. He’s also using to his advantage the fact that he spends a lot of time away from the dorm with his promotions with NCT Dream. 

But what Doyoung notices is - he goes back home straight after his schedule, while usually he would hang around with the rest of Dream, with six of them eventually ending up in a restaurant that Donghyuck picked. Instead these days their maknae comes back home, eats with whoever is free on his floor and goes back to his room. Doyoung doubts it’s caused by any fight between the Dream members, because Donghyuck talks about them all the time: how Renjun enjoys working for the radio, how Jeno and Jaemin are writing the lyrics for their songs and Chenle is considering getting a puppy. It’s obvious he’s happy to be with them just as they are excited to have him back.

And he still behaves normally - playing games with Johnny, visiting the 10th floor in early mornings, showing up in Doyoung’s room at random times to show him something on his phone. He’s still being himself, with a blinding smile, humming whatever song he likes these days. It’s actually hard to notice that there’s any problem to begin with, but Doyoung has known this boy for years now and can easily pinpoint when Donghyuck is carefree and when he’s _pretending_ to be carefree. 

He decides that asking Johnny, who sees Donghyuck the most, might help a little. 

“It looks like he’s doing everything he can to stay inside,” he explains to him one morning, when they’re the only ones in the dorm, with Donghyuck on the shooting for some variety show with NCT Dream and Taeyong practicing with SuperM. “And it’s really not like him.” 

“He _does_ go out less, but do you really think there’s something bothering him?” Johnny asks, frowning slightly. “I thought that he’s tired. He doesn’t even stay up late as much as before. Looks like he’s trying to take care of his health.”

Doyoung frowns in silence. Johnny’s explanation makes sense - Donghyuck has been working tirelessly for the past few months, embracing his schedules with both 127 and Dream. It would be actually reasonable for Donghyuck to get rest whenever he can. But Doyoung can’t help but think there’s still something wrong about this.

“You know you’re the one he trusts the most, right?” asks Johnny, making him snap out of his train of thought. “If something is wrong with him, you’ll be the first person to know.” 

Doyoung takes a moment to think about it. There’s Taeil that seems to know all of Donghyuck’s secrets. Johnny who feels the safest to him. Jaehyun, whom Donghyuck calls his real older brother. Taeyong whom Donghyuck admires and respects the most out of all of them. And Mark, whom he loves the most.

(Donghyuck loves all of them, with his whole being. It’s just that with Mark it’s different. They all know that.)

He supposes it doesn’t really matter who Donghyuck trusts the most as long as he knows he can rely on all of them. They learned years ago that Donghyuck doesn’t like being confronted about things that are troubling him. Pressing the matter usually only results in him closing up even more. So now they usually just wait until he comes to any of them, at his own pace, with thoughts organized inside of his head and waiting to be voiced out. Doyoung likes to think that they’re good at it - taking care of him. If he wants to talk about his insecurities, he’ll go to Taeil and Johnny, or Doyoung himself. If he wants to be comforted in a silent way, with cuddles and affection, he’ll find himself in front of Taeyong’s or Jaehyun’s door. If he feels like his thoughts are too loud and body too small, he’ll want distraction easily provided by Yuta or Jungwoo. 

Doyoung lasts a few more weeks. _Ridin_ ’ promotions end and Donghyuck comes back as NCT 127’s Haechan instead with their repackaged album, but nothing about his behaviour changes. And if Doyoung was worried before, now he’s _anxious_ about the whole problem. They start planning for Donghyuck’s birthday and Yuta proposes taking him out to his favourite restaurant for a celebratory dinner, but all Doyoung can think about is: _he probably won’t enjoy it at all._ He scowls until Yuta relents, raising both of his hands and saying they should buy some cake instead. 

Donghyuck _still_ avoids going out, unless it’s with the whole group - it’s not like he can think up any excuse in this case. If anyone asks him to spend his free time with them outside - he’ll say he has other plans, or that he didn’t bring his wallet (as if that was a problem in the past), or that the weather is too hot for him. Doyoung even catches him rejecting Mark, when the older boy tries asking him out on a date. 

“I can’t even hold your hand in public, let’s just stay in your room,” he whines and clings to Mark’s arm until the older boy relents. Doyoung thinks it’s actually a pretty sound explanation, until Donghyuck turns away from Mark and faces _him_ instead, a smile slipping from his face, leaving a sad, disturbed expression in its place. 

_That’s it,_ Doyoung thinks angrily, and thinks up the plan to get the younger boy to tell him what exactly is wrong. If Donghyuck can’t come to any one of them, then Doyoung will make sure to come to him instead. He makes up his mind and goes to Donghyuck’s room, ready to make the other boy talk. 

“Hey, Haechannie,” he greets, peeking inside. Donghyuck is alone, laying on his bed and most likely watching some kind of video on his phone. He lifts his head for a moment to greet Doyoung back, but then returns to his comfortable position with cheek squished against the pillow. “Are you hungry? Let’s eat together.”

“Sure,” he says, tone indifferent, but Doyoung knows that he’s interested. “What do you want to eat?”

“I was thinking about trying out this restaurant Jungwoo talked about yesterday,” he explains, trying to sound casual, but he’s observing every little detail about Donghyuck. “Dress up and we’ll go.”

Donghyuck stills for a second, and Doyoung probably wouldn’t notice, if his focus wasn’t solely on the younger boy. 

“Can we just order take-out instead?” he asks, not taking his eyes away from the phone. “I’m a little tired.”

 _Such a clever kid,_ thinks Doyoung. Donghyuck rarely complains about being tired, so whenever he barely mentions it, most of the hyungs - Doyoung himself included - are ready to do whatever he asks them without asking unnecessary questions. 

“Okay,” he says, breathes deeply and closes the door. “Scoot over.”

Donghyuck finally tears his eyes away from the phone to look at him. He cocks one eyebrow up in silent question, but makes room for Doyoung anyway. Doyoung slides in the bed beside him, letting their knees touch but otherwise keeping his distance, because the last thing he wants is Donghyuck feeling cornered. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he demands seriously. 

“There’s nothing wrong?” Donghyuck says, still looking at him weirdly.

“Haechan-ah,” he starts, trying his best not to sound frustrated. “There must be something wrong, if you don’t want to get out. At all. Lately you just go out whenever there’s a schedule, but otherwise you just stay here. And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, but it’s not exactly _you,_ don’t you think?”

The younger boy grows quiet at that, not even the “Aw, hyung, I never knew you cared so much!” that Doyoung expected to hear leaving his lips. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” he asks and Donghyuck nods, but stays silent. “If anybody hurt you or there’s anything happening with your family, you can tell me. I can’t promise I’ll be able to help, but please talk to me, so I can at least try.”

Donghyuck snorts at that, crossing his arms over his chest in a poor attempt to protect himself from whatever is haunting his mind. Doyoung resists the urge to wrap his arms around him, because Donghyuck rarely allows others to see him this vulnerable, but he knows that the younger boy needs his space. 

“You can’t do anything, hyung,” he says finally, sounding tired all of a sudden. “It’s not like any of us can do anything about people following us.” 

He closes his eyes then and stays like that for a few seconds. When he opens them again, his face is twisted in an emotion Doyoung rarely sees on him. It’s a face a child-Donghyuck pulled whenever one of his trainee friends announced they were quitting the company. He looked like that whenever Jungwoo was too anxious about going on the stage, silent tears sliding down his cheeks, and Johnny would pull Donghyuck away, saying quietly: _C’mon, Hyuckie, we gotta give him some space._ It’s a weird mix of fear and hopelessness, and Doyoung feels panic arise in his chest. 

“Donghyuckie,” he says alarmed and the younger boy looks at him, startled at the sound of his real name. “Did they do something to you? Something scary?”  
“I’m not afraid of them,” Donghyuck answers defiantly, frowning. “They just piss me off. They’re everywhere I go. I hate it.” 

It makes Doyoung angry too, because Donghyuck lives up to his stage name not only during performances, but also on a daily basis. He’s an embodiment of the sun and he loves being outside when the weather becomes warm enough. When he was still a trainee and couldn’t leave dorms without supervision of someone older, he would often pester Doyoung about going with him together either for shopping or a simple walk. And now, years later, Doyoung wishes it could be like that again. 

“I wanted to tell you, but…”

But they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Taeyong tried on countless occasions - talking with management, with people waiting outside their dorms (because Doyoung refuses to call them fans) and it was fruitless each time. Doyoung and Yuta took it to threaten them whenever they got too close, but it only managed to spur them on. The best course of action in their situation was doing nothing. 

But simply doing nothing isn’t really a Donghyuck thing. 

“Come here,” he says softly, spreading out his arms. Donghyuck looks at him, wordlessly sets aside his phone and finds home in the embrace of his hyung. “I’m sorry we can’t do anything about it. I wish I could.”

“I know,” Donghyuck replies, voice muffled. “Me too.” 

They fall silent after that. Doyoung _hates_ feeling so useless. It leaves a burning hole in his chest - he wants to do so much for Donghyuck, because the younger boy deserves it, but he’s stuck at doing _nothing._ The only thing he can do is provide this small comfort by being there for him and hope it’s enough for Donghyuck. 

“You know,” he starts, carding his fingers through brown, soft hair. “I wasn’t lying when I said you shouldn’t be anyone’s enemy. They should be scared of you. Don’t let them stop you from doing anything you want.” 

Donghyuck snorts quietly, but leans further into his embrace, relaxing against him. He’s warm, and precious, and Doyoung wishes he could give him the world. 

Around twenty minutes later, when Doyoung sits deep in thought with dozing off Donghyuck still in his lap, Johnny comes to the room. When he sees the two of them he stops and tilts his head in a silent question, but Doyoung doesn’t know how to answer it. 

“We’ll be okay,” he decides finally, mouthing the words in Johnny’s direction. 

It has to be enough for now. 

(A few days later, when Doyoung is in the kitchen with Taeyong, Donghyuck emerges from his room, struggling to put on his hoodie. 

“Are you going somewhere?” he asks curiously, because he knows the younger boy doesn’t have any schedule planned today. 

Donghyuck stops, craning his neck to look at them and nods. His smile is small and private. 

“Yeah,” he says, looking directly at Doyoung. “I’m going out with Chenle today. Don’t wait up for me!” 

He leaves then, not without waving to Taeyong, who tells him to be careful on his way. Doyoung stares after him until Taeyong notices and asks him if there’s anything wrong. 

“No,” he says then, feeling light and hopeful. “Everything’s okay.”) 

* * *

If one were to ask Jungwoo whether Donghyuck and Haechan are that much different, he’d probably say: _not really._

It doesn’t matter if he’s supposed to act as Haechan in front of the cameras or is just Donghyuck in the confines of their dorms, he brings laughter with him. He’s a dedicated singer and dancer, both on stage and in the practice room. He loves singing and listens to a lot of genres of music, so whenever somebody starts humming something, he’s quick to join in. He quickly thinks of solutions, always knows what to say and what to do to make others listen to him. It’s easy to surprise him and even easier to make him laugh. He never holds back when it comes to affection and always has a teasing remark on the tip of his tongue. 

The line between Haechan and Donghyuck is often blurred. It’s between _“I don’t want to go with Doyoung”_ yelled in a variety show and _“Let me help you, hyung”_ said in a gentle voice in the kitchen on the 5th floor. Donghyuck will turn his gaze away and blush slightly when he hears a compliment, but Haechan will just smirk and say _“Yeah, it’s because I’m the best.”_ Donghyuck allows himself to be tired - Haechan is always buzzing with energy, one foot tapping impatiently if they’re required to stay still. Haechan is always confident and has a thick skin, but Donghyuck reaches out for Mark’s fingers whenever he feels too much. Haechan always has some story he wants to share with his friends and fans, a joke ready to be told to the audience. But there are days when Donghyuck falls silent - usually he spends moments like these beside Mark, with older boy’s arm curled protectively around his shoulders. 

_It’s a Donghyuckie day,_ their managers would joke, letting the boy snuggle up to them without a word of complaint. It was their way of acknowledging that he doesn’t have to be energetic and happy all the time. That, maybe, all of them should go a little easier on him. 

_Looks like it’s Donghyuckie day today too,_ Jungwoo finds himself thinking, throwing the door to the 10th floor open and seeing the younger boy curled up on their coach in the living room. He’s hugging one of their pillows and he’s wearing a big, green hoodie - Jungwoo is almost sure it’s the one Mark bought only a few days ago. He pulled his hood up, so it obscures most of his face, but his pout is still visible.

“Hi, Haechannie,” he calls out and smiles apologetically when the other boy startles. “Are you waiting for Mark?”

 _“Was_ waiting for Mark,” Donghyuck informs him, looking at the screen of his phone with an unreadable expression. “They’re going to stay longer to practice more.” 

Jungwoo hums in understanding, taking a seat on the couch next to the younger boy. 

“He misses you too, you know,” he tells him, because he’s seen Mark watching Haechan’s fancams one too many times. It’s just their luck that their schedules clash so much despite being in the same band. Just when Donghyuck became free from his promotions with NCT Dream, Mark started practicing harder for his comeback with SuperM. 

“Don’t say that, hyung,” Donghyuck whines. “You’ll only make me sadder.”

“Sorry,” he says, reaching out to pat his head still covered by the hoodie. “What can I do to make you happier?” 

“Well…” the younger boy drawls, with a familiar, mischievous glint in his eyes that instantly makes Jungwoo smile. “You can start by ordering us some food.” 

Jungwoo complies, because he’s hungry anyway and Donghyuck is one of his favourite people to share a meal with. They bicker for a moment while choosing the food, finally deciding to play the game of rock-paper-scissors and let the winner decide. 

(Jungwoo wins and now leads their score with 7 victories. Donghyuck is not far behind with his 5 points and tells him to watch his back, because he _will_ get Jungwoo to eat kimchi with him.) 

They order the food together and it arrives rather quickly. Donghyuck prepares the tea and sets the table in their living room, while Jungwoo pays for their meal, just like he promised. And it somehow does manage to lift up the younger boy’s mood, although he uses the time they eat to complain about the unfairness of it all. 

“I came here to cuddle with my soulmate,” he tells Jungwoo, pouting. “Dating an idol is so hard.” 

“As if you’re not an idol yourself?” he asks, raising an eyebrow and Donghyuck just sighs, so Jungwoo feeds him another piece of meat without any further comments.

They don’t talk about it anymore, intent on spending a good time together. It comes to them effortlessly, because not only is Donghyuck easy to be around, but they also have a similar sense of humour. Jungwoo throws in some jokes that leave the younger breathless with laughter, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He also wins against him in KartRider and teases him about it until Donghyuck throws away his controller and leans his head against Jungwoo’s shoulder in defeat. He exits the game and wraps an arm around Donghyuck, because he’s never been one to say no to cuddling. 

The younger boy tells him about the recording for their Japanese album, how he got to try out new things and he’s just _"_ _gonna sound so awesome, hyung"._ Jungwoo tells him he knows, because he’s already heard Donghyuck’s lines during his own recording session. It’s really admirable, how much he likes his work and how much time he spends on getting better. He comes to the recording studio fully prepared and usually with his own ideas. During dance practices he’s playful but also sharp-eyed when it comes to any mistakes, and so he makes a perfect match for Taeyong, who’s merciless about polishing their choreographies. Their maknae’s life probably revolves around being on stage, and Jungwoo sometimes thinks it’s overwhelming in the best way possible. 

After a while Donghyuck’s voice fades into silence and Jungwoo realizes that the younger boy fell asleep against his shoulder. He considers waking him up and making him sleep somewhere more comfortable, but the boy is _so_ warm, he decides that a short nap won’t hurt them. With that, he snuggles closer to Donghyuck and doesn’t even realize when he dozes off himself. 

He doesn’t know how much time passed like this, but when he wakes up next time, it's to Mark shaking his arm carefully.

“Sorry,” the younger boy whispers, sending him a slight smile. “But it’s late and the two of you should probably sleep in real beds.”

Jungwoo hums in agreement, before craning his neck to look at Donghyuck, who’s still curled up against his arm. He makes room for Mark to move over to the younger boy and silently watches the two of them, but then decides to look away when he sees Mark bending down to place a sweet, short kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead. He hears him murmuring something that sounds a lot like _"C'mon, Donghyuckie"_ in English, but the only response he gets is a low whine. 

“I told him not to stay up waiting for me,” Mark says, sighing softly. 

“Bold of you to assume that he comes here only for you, Mark,” Jungwoo teases. “We had a great time together.”

Donghyuck groans and with his eyes still closed throws himself at Mark, who somehow manages to catch him without stumbling. Jungwoo laughs softly at his expression, which is an equal mix of exasperation and fondness. He decides to leave them to themselves and stands up, groaning when he feels his muscles protest. 

“I’ll go to my room now,” he announces. Mark still has his arms wrapped around Donghyuck and from the looks of it the younger boy doesn’t plan on leaving his personal space any time soon. “Have a good night.”

“Thanks for taking care of him,” says Mark, and Jungwoo almost says it’s nothing, because he really didn’t do anything. But then Donghyuck emerges from between Mark’s arms and smiles at him sleepily. 

“Thanks, hyung,” he says, sincere and warm, and Jungwoo remembers that Donghyuck sometimes craves for other people to be around him, but chooses to stay silent about it for whatever reason. It still catches Jungwoo off guard, but he’s glad he managed to be in the right place at the right time. 

“Anytime, Haechannie,” he answers and actually means it. 

He comes back to his room after that, trying to be as quiet as possible, mindful of waking Jaehyun up. When he’s finally in his bed, he hears some whispering in the hallway and muffled giggling - _that_ sound most definitely comes from Donghyuck. Then a sound of Mark’s door closing reaches his ears and he faintly realizes that there was no indication that Donghyuck left their floor - so he probably managed to convince Mark to cuddle with him all night, just like he planned. 

It doesn’t matter if he’s Donghyuck or Haechan, he muses to himself silently, in the end he always gets what he wants. 

* * *

When Yuta comes to the 5th floor, there’s only Donghyuck curled up on the kitchen chair, with a fluffy blanket wrapped tightly around him. His hair is in disarray, with a couple of loose strands falling over his eyes. Yuta smiles at the sight and no one can really blame him - he likes cute things and Donghyuck is no exception. 

It’s only after a few seconds that he sees scrunched up eyebrows and a frown that usually doesn’t belong on younger boy's face. 

“You look miserable. Who do I have to beat up?” he says as a greeting, coming into their kitchen. Donghyuck looks up slowly and his eyes light up at the sight of him. 

“Would you beat up Mark Lee for me?” he asks, eyes full of mischief despite the frown that was present on his face only a few seconds before. 

“Never,” Yuta deadpans, sitting beside him. “And I know for a fact you two didn't fight, because I’ve just seen him and he was all chirpy and happy. I know how he looks after your lover’s spat.” 

Donghyuck opens his mouth, but is interrupted by their leader, who shuffles in the kitchen. 

“Oh, Yuta,” Taeyong says, surprised. “I haven’t seen you in here for ages.”

“Doyoung has a Japanese test tomorrow and he was freaking out about it, so I offered my help,” he explains, looking around. “Is he here, though?”

“He’ll be here in a few minutes, I think,” he says, before focusing his attention on their youngest, who’s still curled up in the kitchen chair. He hands him a pack of what Yuta assumes are pills, before ruffling his hair even more. “Here, Haechannie, you should take them for now. They’re quite strong, so one for a day should be enough.” 

“Thanks, hyungie,” Donghyuck says, leaning into the touch of Taeyong, nuzzling his face against the pale hand before pulling away and standing up from his chair. “I’ll be in the living room. Have a good practice, hyung.” 

Taeyong smiles in response and sighs when the younger disappears from their view. Yuta watches his features morphing into expression of worry. That’s when he remembers why the pills looked so familiar - they’re the ones Taeyong takes when pain in his back is too much.  
“Why is he taking painkillers?” he asks, because last time he saw Donghyuck, he was completely fine and healthy. 

“It’s his neck again,” Taeyong explains. Yuta’s familiar with the problem enough to frown. Donghyuck, along with Taeyong and Yuta himself, is probably one of the members who are most prone to injuries. 

“You should take care of yourself too,” he reminds and Taeyong sends him this tight-lipped smile that he uses whenever he isn’t sure what he should say. 

Doyoung returns a few minutes later, carrying a plastic bag filled with snacks and what Yuta faintly recognizes as heat plasters for neck pains. He smiles teasingly at the younger when he notices him, because for all the show him and Donghyuck put in front of the cameras, Doyoung probably is the one who took care of him the most among all of them through all these years. 

Both Yuta and Doyoung decide to practice in the living room, so they can keep an eye for Donghyuck. The younger boy doesn’t look like he minds. If anything, he has a curious glint in his eyes that Yuta catches every time he sees Donghyuck listening to his conversations with Shotaro. They decide to leave a coach for him - which he of course celebrates with a smug expression and finger hearts sent their way - and settle down on the floor with a few cushions Donghyuck threw in their direction.

“I’ll be going now,” Taeyong calls from the hallway. He peeks into the living room and looks at all of them warmly. “Have a nice day. Baby, make sure they don’t cause any problems.” 

And then he disappears, ignoring Yuta’s _Excuse me?_ and Doyoung’s scandalized _Taeyong!_ which resonates through the living room along with Donghyuck’s laugh. 

“Let’s order some food first,” Yuta proposes. “Haechannie decides, I’ll pay.”

Donghyuck smiles brightly at that and Yuta is glad that at least food is still something that manages to cheer him up despite the obvious pain. 

They set to work after that - Doyoung reading out loud his exercises, Yuta correcting him softly from time to time and Donghyuck watching the two of them silently from his place on the couch. He’s wrapped in the blanket and looks drowsy, but still manages to sing _Long slow distance,_ when he recognizes some of the words Doyoung is reciting from his notebook. His voice is sweet and soft, utterly captivating despite its low volume. 

The sound of his voice fades out although it’s not the end of their song, so they both turn around to see him. He’s curled up with arms around his knees and face hidden in a crook of his elbow. It’s probably not the best position to fall asleep in, given his neck pain. 

“I’ll go for Johnny, so he can carry him,” Doyoung says, probably thinking what Yuta is. 

“Eh, he’ll wake up then,” he says, knowing all too well that Donghyuck is a heavy sleeper only when he really falls asleep, not just rests his eyes for a moment. “Let’s just move him to a more comfortable position.” 

Doyoung agrees and they both stand up. Doyoung removes the blanket that is still wrapped around Donghyuck and Yuta slowly coaxes him to lay on the coach. It’s rather easy - the younger boy is pliant and still on the edge of being conscious. Yuta grabs the pillow Doyoung hands him and lifts Donghyuck’s head to rest on it, before covering him with a blanket once again. He expects him to settle in and fall asleep, but when he straightens up, the younger boy glances up at him, looking awake and ready to deliver a blow. 

“Ooooh, Yuta-san,” he coos loudly and bats his eyelashes. “I’ve always known you loveeeeed meeee!”

“Yeah,” Yuta says, before reaching for another pillow laying on the floor. “Let me smother you with my love real quick.”

With that, he gently covers Donghyuck’s face with a pillow, mindful of his neck. The younger boy screeches, laughing and kicking his legs. When Yuta lifts the pillow, Donghyuck’s face is a little red, but his eyes are sparkling and he looks nothing like he did when Yuta first saw him today. 

_Here it is,_ Yuta thinks fondly despite himself. _Our sunshine._

Most of the members of NCT and staff call him Haechan. There’s some exceptions, of course - like Mark, who still has him saved in his phone as _Donghyuckie_ or Doyoung, who screams his real name whenever he’s mad about yet another prank. Taeyong would probably call him Donghyuck too, if he wasn’t so attached to his baby agenda. But Yuta never really felt the need to call him by his real name, not when Donghyuck carries his stage name with so much pride and embodies it so well. _It’s basically calling him our sunshine,_ Yuta said once to Taeyong. And it was true - Haechan wasn’t just a stage name or a nickname. At this point it was an endearment. 

The food arrives shortly after and Yuta is glad, because they’re almost done with Doyoung anyway and he’s been hungry ever since he noticed that Donghyuck ordered meals from his favourite restaurant. They join the younger boy on the couch and eat together, with Doyoung explaining to them a script for his upcoming drama and Donghyuck and Yuta teasing him about some of the scenes. 

“Does it still hurt?” Doyoung asks nonchalantly at some point, but Yuta can tell that he’s observing their maknae like a hawk. 

“I’m feeling much better, hyung, thanks,” Donghyuck says without looking up from his food. 

Doyoung nods, looking satisfied, but when they’re done with their food, he doesn’t come back to studying with Yuta. Instead he heads back to the kitchen, rummages through the plastic bag he brought in earlier and comes back with a bottle of some kind of cream. 

“Show me your neck,” he says to Donghyuck, who does the exact opposite and covers himself with his blanket from head to toe.

They launch into their typical fight - Doyoung trying to pry off the blanket from Donghyuck, and the younger boy screaming and whining at him.

“Stop acting like it’s going to kill you!” Doyoung screams, when Donghyuck tries to kick him. 

“I can do it myself!” he screams back and Yuta can’t bring himself to scold them to keep their voices down. 

Finally and somehow unexpectedly, Doyoung wins and Donghyuck surrenders, letting the other boy look at his neck. Doyoung doesn’t waste time in uncapping the bottle and gently brushing away his brown hair from his nape. He applies some of the cream on the tan skin and massages it, obviously careful with his movements. 

“It’s going to warm up your muscles. Might be uncomfortable for a while, but it’ll help you,” he explains, his voice dropping into that gentle, soft tone that he usually reserves for younger members and Taeyong. 

Donghyuck mumbles out a quiet _“okay”_ and stays still until Doyoung finishes his ministrations. The older boy ruffles his hair with his other hand and tells him to cover his neck before excusing himself to the bathroom. 

“Okaaay,” Yuta drawls out, when he’s sure Doyoung won’t be able to hear them. Then he turns to Donghyuck, who peers up at him from under his blanket. “Where else does it hurt? It’s your knee, isn’t it?” 

To his credit, Donghyuck doesn’t even look surprised. Yuta has had his fair share of injuries and he’s watched all of his friends sustain and suffer from them too, so he’s familiar with how people behave when they want to hide them. He was quick to catch that Dongyuck favoured one of his legs when the younger boy walked from the kitchen to the living room earlier. Taeyong was probably too distracted to notice and Donghyuck had been conveniently sitting the whole time Doyoung was with them, so Yuta was most likely the only one to catch on that. 

“I didn’t say anything because if it was something serious, you’d tell the nagging king over there,” he says and Donghyuck smiles a little but doesn’t deny it. “But you should still put some of that on your knee. It’ll help you.”

The younger boy nods and Yuta holds out his hand expectantly. Donghyuck sighs, most likely too tired for another round of theatrics, and hands him the ointment without word of complaint. Honestly, if Yuta was any less of a person, he’d probably gloat about it to Doyoung a little (a lot). But as it is, he just looks at the other boy seriously and pursues his lips in what he knows is an expression that unsettles most people. Donghyuck untangles himself from the blanket and hikes up the material of his sweatpants, so Yuta can inspect his knee himself. It’s not swollen, so he supposes it isn’t that bad. Still, when he uncaps the bottle and applies some of the ointment on his skin, Donghyuck hisses in pain and frowns immediately. Yuta apologizes softly and tries to be as gentle as possible afterwards. 

“No playing soccer until it’s better,” he says to the younger boy after a few minutes, handing him back a bottle. Donghyuck leans in to kiss his cheek, but Yuta avoids it with practiced ease. Deeming his job done - both with Doyoung _and_ Donghyuck - he stands up and plans on leaving the 5th floor. 

“Hyung,” Donghyuck calls out and when Yuta turns around, the younger boy holds up his pinky finger in his direction. “No telling Mark?” 

“I don’t lie to Mark,” he replies instantly and then sighs when Donghyuck pouts at him. 

If Mark gets to know, he’ll probably fret over Donghyuck for the next few days, if not weeks. And Yuta isn’t a fan of hiding anything from anybody - especially from Mark, who values honesty a lot - but he understands where Donghyuck is coming from. Mark is preparing for his comeback with SuperM and they’re still in the middle of recording their Japanese album. Worried Mark is a distracted Mark and that leads to Mark who blames himself for every little mistake made during practices, recordings and music shows. It’s a sight _none_ of them likes, and he guesses Donghyuck wants to avoid it the most out of all of them. 

“Fine,” he relents finally, hooking his pinky finger around Donghyuck’s. “But if you do some reckless shit, I’ll be the first one to tell him.” 

“ _Aishiteru,_ Yuta-san,” Donghyuck croons in Japanese and Yuta just sighs. 

“Yeah, unfortunately I love you too.” 

* * *

News about NCT 2020 reaches them quickly along with a long list of schedules, which includes recording sessions, photoshoots, radio and music shows, and filming official content for the whole group. WayV members are ecstatic about joining NCT officially, excited to collaborate with other members and spend time with people they remember from the hallways and practice rooms. 

Sicheng doesn’t know what to think about it. He’s happy, obviously. He missed NCT 127 so much, but they didn’t manage to stay in contact as much as he'd like. They send each other birthday wishes and messages full of support on every comeback, but with how busy both of the units were, it wasn’t hard to lose contact. He thinks: _I’m probably different now, and so are they._ And he’s a little scared at the thought. 

But then comes the day of their first photoshoot as NCT 2020. Johnny pulls him into a fierce hug - the kind of a hug that only he’s capable of giving. Taeyong welcomes him with a soft smile and tender look in his eyes that he still remembers from the times the older boy was his leader. Jaehyun smiles at him and looks out for him for the rest of the day. Mark spots him immediately and clings to him like the big baby that he is. 

And Donghyuck storms back into his life with his familiar warmth and twinkling eyes. He immediately launches a conversation about WayV, how much he likes _Take Off_ choreography, and how amazing Xiaojun’s voice is. He trudges after him on the set and asks to dance to _Kick it_ together. He still acts like the same Donghyuck - like Sicheng never actually left. He reminds Sicheng that he may be in a different group now, but he’s still a part of history of NCT 127, of their amazing growth and something more personal - Donghyuck’s childhood. Maybe this is why he acts like that - because Sicheng may be WayV’s WinWin now, but he’s also the WinWin who used to brush Donghyuck’s hair when the younger boy was too tired to do it himself. 

And he realizes - he _belongs_. He belongs both in WayV and in NCT 127. Both groups are filled with people who adore him and cherish him and he loves all of them so fiercely it actually hurts sometimes. There’s a big gap in his heart that can be filled only by nine other people. But members of WayV created a new home for him and he’s actually excited to see how all of his precious people will get along together. 

He feels calmer after that, but still keeps an eye for WayV members, because he knows for most of them it’s the first time meeting the rest of NCT officially. As expected, he finds Dejun talking with Xuxi and Mark, and YangYang laughing at something Renjun is saying to him. He’s not entirely surprised to see Kunhang next to Donghyuck - the youngest member of NCT 127 is known for making friends easily and quickly. What surprises him is how _shy_ Kunhang looks, listening to whatever the younger boy is telling him. It’s a bit endearing, because Sicheng can’t recall seeing him like this _ever_ . After a while Donghyuck starts gesticulating wildly - most likely explaining some Korean words that Kunhang can’t understand. It takes a few more tries, but the younger boy doesn’t give up and finally understanding flashes in Kunhang’s eyes. He nods eagerly, smiling at him thankfully. It’s obvious that Donghyuck is adamant about making him feel comfortable and welcome, and Sicheng feels so much _fondness_ that it almost suffocates him for a split second.

Donghyuck has always been caring. Despite being younger and smaller than the rest of the members, he took care of them well. He cooked for them or helped with cleaning up - Sicheng always suspected it had to do a lot with him being the eldest sibling in his family. He would bully Mark to go home earlier and push other members in front of the cameras if he thought they didn’t get enough screen time. Whenever Sicheng got nervous about reading in Korean, Donghyuck would peek over his shoulder and whisper to him the correct spelling. He looked after them in the smallest, most subtle ways and it often went by unnoticed, but now, as Sicheng watches him from afar, it’s glaringly obvious how much he cares about others - even those he didn’t get to meet beforehand. 

It’s no surprise that soon enough their newest members, Shotaro and Sungchan, find their place beside Donghyuck too. After a few seconds Mark joins them, throwing his arm around Donghyuck and immersing himself in conversation. The younger boy doesn’t even blink at the disturbance, just reaches out to hold Mark’s hand hanging off his shoulder. Sicheng can see that YangYang peers over at them curiously, too. 

Now he kind of regrets not joining the bet WayV has about the amount of time Donghyuck and Yangyang need to click together and start causing chaos. (Kun was ruthless and decided on one day, while Ten insisted it would take at least five.) 

“He really is like a sun in moments like these, huh,” Jaehyun says from where he’s sitting next to him. Sicheng turns to him and finds out that the other boy is already looking in Donghyuck’s direction, eyes fond and full of warmth.

It’s true. People gravitate to Donghyuck naturally, like they’re seeking his warmth. He’s a joy to be around, and he brings out smiles and laughter effortlessly. He’s easy to be around, never letting anybody feel awkward and listening attentively to whatever is spoken. Sicheng doesn’t really care about stage names, but if he had to choose someone whose name fits them perfectly, then he would pick Donghyuck - _Haechan, Full Sun_ \- without hesitation. 

They spend the whole day like this - doing a photoshoot, forming friendships or, like in Sicheng’s case, renewing old bonds. Taeil and Donghyuck host their own mini-show and fill the waiting time with laughter. He spends most of the time at the backstage of _Welcome to Sun &Moon _ , waiting patiently for his turn to be a guest. _You’ll be the most important guest, hyung, so we’ll film your episode at the end,_ Donghyuck told him earlier, before leaving to cling onto Doyoung and convince him to appear in the next episode.

 _I should have known from the start,_ he thinks to himself a few hours later, when Donghyuck and Taeil call for him and the rest of the members sitting on the orange couch scream and clap loudly. After all, no one is as loud at proclaiming his love for WinWin as Haechan is. 

Finally, after a whole day of photoshoot, every sub-unit slowly starts preparing for a trip back to their dorms. He turns to say his goodbyes, but the only ones he can see is the two youngest members of NCT 127. Mark's sitting on the floor with Donghyuck with his head in the older boy’s lap. Both of them have already changed into their own clothes and they look unfairly comfortable on a hard floor. Mark is sitting with his back against the wall, with one hand holding his phone up, so he can see better whatever he’s watching. His other hand is resting in Donghyuck’s brown hair, but it’s not moving - probably because trying to comb through his curls would be painful. Donghyuck for once isn’t on his phone - it looks like a full day of filming has actually tired him out and he’s just resting with his cheek pillowed against Mark’s thigh.

It’s not the first time Sicheng sees them like this - they always were affectionate towards each other and the amount of skinship only increased when there were no cameras around. But watching them now, he can’t help but feel that something changed between them, or rather - something _settled_ between the two of them. It feels like he’s intruding, even if they’re not aware of his presence. And he thinks, mildly surprised: _maybe some things_ did _change after all._

“WayV is coming home already,” he says loudly and watches as Donghyuck lifts his head up and sits up quickly when he realizes who’s talking to them. “Are you going to wait for long?”

“We’re just waiting for hyungs to change,” Mark explains, standing up along with the other boy. “Hopefully they won’t take long.” 

“Okay, then,” he nods. “I’ll see you at the practice.” 

“Bye, hyung!” Before Sicheng can turn around and leave them to themselves, Donghyuck quickly envelops him in a tight hug. 

“You’re working really hard this year, aren’t you? I’m proud of you,” he says despite himself. Donghyuck doesn’t laugh or dismiss his words. Instead he tightens his hold on Sicheng and nestles his head under his chin. He can feel Donghyuck’s shaky breath on his neck but decides to stay silent. 

He holds Donghyuck a little longer until the younger boy pulls back and throws him a sunny smile. Sicheng goes to hug Mark too, patting his head and then bids them goodbye. He climbs into the car, where the rest of WayV is already waiting for him, ready to go home. 

“Haechan is really nice,” YangYang says excitedly from the backseat and Sicheng sees Kun throwing Ten a smug smile. 

“True,” Kunhang says with his eyes closed, clearly tired. “I kept thinking that he’s my senior, but he was acting like we’ve been friends for years.”

“We’re going to suffer so much, aren’t we,” Ten groans, but when Sicheng turns to look at him, the look in his eyes is fond. He can easily tell that Ten is glad Donghyuck was so welcoming and pretty much acted like a human magnet for a whole day. Sicheng guesses that at this point no one can escape his natural charm and warmth. 

A real sun indeed. 

* * *

When Taeyong debuted in NCT 127, it was with seven other people which he was supposed to lead. Then, new members were added to the group and while Taeyong was glad for them and enjoyed being together with them, it felt like responsibilities on his shoulders kept growing heavier and heavier. He could practice more to become better at rapping or dancing, but he felt there was no practice to be a good leader. The title felt heavy and uncomfortable, and he couldn’t help but feel that it didn’t fit him most of the time. 

“You have a lot of people to take care of,” Jaehyun told him once. “But it also means you have a lot of people who will take care of you, too.” 

It’s true and he learns slowly to see that every day. Johnny waking up earlier, so he can drink coffee and eat breakfast with him whenever Taeyong has a morning schedule. Doyoung nagging him to take better care of himself, but ending up cooking a meal for him anyway. Jaehyun staying up with him whenever he can’t sleep. Donghyuck coming into his own room only to see Taeyong on his bed and instead of complaining about it, covering his leader with a blanket and leaving the room in silence. They care for him and love him not because he’s a leader, but because he’s himself. Now, Taeyong faces the camera and says with a laugh _“I have twenty two kids”_ and instead of a burden, it feels like a warm hug. 

It makes him happy and content, especially now that they have occasion to promote as NCT with other units. It leaves the 5th floor in a frenzy, because each member is involved with a different sub-unit. Taeyong isn’t used to coming back home and not seeing anyone there, because the rest is still at the practice. These days it’s difficult to see all of them on the floor at the same time, so he’s actually surprised when he wakes up and finds Doyoung cooking something in the kitchen while Johnny sits by the table, sipping his morning coffee. 

There’s only one person missing. 

“Where’s the baby?” 

“He went to WayV dorms, I think,” says Doyoung absently, his focus still on the food before him. 

Taeyong smiles a little in response. Donghyuck was probably one of the most excited members about NCT 2020. He wasted no time trying to get closer to those he didn’t have a chance to work with earlier. Taeyong has watched Donghyuck’s charm work on countless people before, but he’s still surprised how fast people take to him. It looks like even language barrier isn’t a problem to him, because WayV members seem to be captivated by him as much as any other person. 

“You both keep calling him a baby casually and still wonder why he refuses to hug you in front of cameras,” Johnny comments, not looking up from his mug.

“What?” Doyoung asks and scowls immediately, like he always does whenever he feels like Johnny is making fun of him. “Aren’t you the one babying him the most these days?”

“Yeah, but I’m not acting like an embarrassing parent,” says Johnny and Taeyong doesn’t have to turn his back to know that the older is smirking at them. “Besides, roommate privilege.” 

It’s an excuse Johnny uses every time they discuss something concerning Donghyuck. When the two of them were announced to be roommates, Taeyong didn’t suspect they would get along _that_ much. But he’s actually glad that Donghyuck has at his fingertips someone who appreciates him so much and isn’t shy about showing it. Johnny is an expert in making other people feel good about themselves. He’s sincere about his every praise, and he might be exactly what Donghyuck needs at his side. 

“Maybe we should stop babying him,” he muses, mostly to himself, taking his seat next to Johnny. “He’s all grown-up now.”

“He’ll be forty and we’ll still see him as a baby,” snorts Doyoung, coming up to them and putting a plate with pancakes before him. “He might grow up, but he’ll never grow out of being our youngest.” 

Taeyong supposes it’s true. Donghyuck is more than capable of taking care of himself. He proved it to them on many occasions. It’s been intriguing to watch Donghyuck grow from a boy who was still searching how he should look and sound, to a young adult who looks like his confidence won’t be shaken by anyone. 

_I still have to learn a lot,_ says Donghyuck to him whenever Taeyong praises him for his hard work. And it’s astounding how much greed there is inside him to become better.

But at the end of the day Donghyuck will still be their youngest member - boy who steals their hoodies and blankets when the temperature in the room is too low for him, who curls up at their sides and looks at them with big, shining eyes until he gets what he wants, who sometimes gets lost and reaches out his hand for any of them on instinct. 

And maybe it should be like that - Donghyuck being strong and unfaltering in front of the cameras, but letting his vulnerability seep through whenever he’s alone with them. 

Taeyong knows that they can rely on Donghyuck, too. He’s not loud about it, but he’s always ready to help, even without being asked. And more often than not, he somehow seems to know exactly _how_ to help. He pays attention, even to the smallest things - Taeyong gets reminded of that when the younger boy finds him in his room later that day. 

“Hyungie, hi!” Donghyuck beams at him, before entering his room. He quickly makes his way to Taeyong’s bed, where the leader has been resting. “I made a trip to the pet store on my way back here. We bought things you mentioned you wanted for our fishes. I think I remembered them right, but can you make a check?”

“Oh, Haechan-ah, you didn’t have to,” he says surprised, because he did mention this in passing, but didn’t expect anyone to pick up on that.

“I know, I’m amazing like that,” he says absently, before looking at him with serious eyes. “By the way, why do we have fishes in our dorm, while they have kittens and a puppy? They’re so cute, hyung, it’s not fair.” 

“Why would we need a puppy when we have Jungwoo?” he asks back playfully, reaching out his hand to ruffle Donghyuck’s hair only to pull it back instantly. “Why is your hair wet?” 

“I took a shower after coming back home. I guess I didn’t dry it properly.” 

There was only one thing Taeyong wishes he could change about Donghyuck - and it was his recklessness. Whether dancing too close to the edge of stage, or staying up too late despite having too many schedules, or not thinking about the possibility of renewing his leg injury - he cared _too little,_ while Taeyong arguably cared _too much._ Donghyuck is an adult now and with time he matured a lot. His recklessness subdued by a noticeable amount, but Taeyong sometimes still wishes he could take care of him more. 

He can see what kind of fatigue Mark has been under, because he shares all of his schedules, but Donghyuck escapes his watch whenever he plays his role as NCT Dream’s Haechan. It’s hard to watch out for him when Taeyong feels exhausted himself and it’s frustrating, because Donghyuck always insists that he’s okay with so many things piling up on his shoulders. 

“Dream is too precious to me,” he said one time, when his schedules with Dream and 127 were clashing so much that Taeyong suggested taking a break from practicing with one of the units. “And so are you, so I won’t pull back from any schedule, if I don’t have to.” 

And Taeyong is always amazed at how silent he is about the amount of his hard work. Sometimes it's hard to believe that this boy is the same Donghyuck, who now sits beside him and shakes his head like a wet dog.

“Wait here,” he says, getting up and going to the bathroom for his hair dryer. 

He comes back and stands by the bed, gesturing for Doghyuck to sit on the edge. The younger boy obediently scoots closer to him, bowing his head and letting Taeyong card his fingers through his still damp hair.

“Your hair is longer now, so it needs more time to dry,” Taeyong reminds and Donghyuck only hums in response. 

He sets to work after that, switching on the hair dryer. He can tell Donghyuck is humming some songs to himself, but can’t clearly hear his voice because of the noise. The younger boy sits still all the time, not complaining even once when Taeyong maneuvers his head to his liking and styles his hair in different ways. It reminds him of that one time when Doyoung told Taeyong that he’s probably the one he respects the most in their group. 

“You’re the only one he actually listens to,” Doyoung explained. “It’s such a waste, though, because you never make him do anything.” 

_It’s probably why he listens to me in the first place,_ Taeyong told him back then and now, a few years later, he knows that he wasn’t exactly wrong, but it’s also because Donghyuck trusts him. 

Taeyong finishes his work a few minutes later. He considers finding one of his hairbands and tying the younger boy's fringe on the top of his head, because he _knows_ he would look utterly cute with apple hair. But Donghyuck actually detests having his hair tied and avoids it whenever he can, so Taeyong gives up on the idea, opting to drop a quick, affectionate kiss on top of his head.

“Drink beer with me?” he asks, and Donghyuck ducks his head and smiles, tiny dimples forming on his cheeks. 

“So now I’m _not_ a baby?” the younger boy asks back, peeking up at him and Taeyong reaches out to brush his hair once again. 

“You’ll be forty and you’ll still be our baby,” he echoes Doyoung’s words, to which Donghyuck rolls his eyes subtly, but accepts Taeyong’s invitation anyway. 

He goes to the kitchen to retrieve the beer he bought earlier and goes to prepare snacks. Donghyuck gets up to help, like he always does, but Taeyong stops him and tells him to relax and find something for them to play or watch together. They settle on Taeyong’s bed when he comes back and watch some clips on the younger boy’s phone, but after some time they decide to simply talk and drink together. It doesn’t take long for Taeyong to get tipsy, because he’s always been a lightweight. He can tell Donghyuck watches him with obvious amusement, but remains silent about it. The younger boy has been so tired since the new year started - seeing him happy and free like this makes Taeyong relieved. He can’t take Donghyuck’s burdens away from him and he can’t interfere with his busy schedule, but maybe he _can_ create these small, precious moments for him. 

“Our strong, brave, hardworking Haechannie,” he praises, ruffling his soft hair. “You grew up so well.”

And usually Donghyuck would make fun of him for being so affectionate after only a few beers, but he must have realized that Taeyong was honest and _so, so_ proud, because he leans into his touch and smiles gently. 

“You are the reason that I grew up so well, hyung,” he says with a voice dripping with affection. “All of you.”

* * *

“We have a guest in our room tonight,” says Jungwoo to Jaehyun, when he enters the living room on the 10th floor. The younger boy is clad in his winter jacket and clearly on his way out, but he throws Jaehyun a discreet smile before disappearing in the hallway. 

There’s no real need for being so secretive, though, because Jaehyun knows exactly _who_ is their guest. 

Donghyuck has a habit of sneaking up to the beds of his members whenever he feels like it. Now it’s mostly Mark’s room that he ends up taking a nap in, but before that, when they still were roommates, Jaehyun was often met with the sight of a younger boy sleeping in his bed instead of his own. He never really minded. If anything - he found it adorable. 

Jaehyun doesn’t get to be a hyung a lot of times. He’s younger than most of the members and while they don’t necessarily baby him, they all treat him more like a same-age friend. Most of the time he finds himself being taken care of instead of catering to others, but he’s also glad to be there whenever Johnny or Taeyong need help.

It’s different with Donghyuck, though. 

Jaehyun was there when Donghyuck was sixteen and anxious about his performances. He was there when Donghyuck’s grandmother fell sick, but the younger boy couldn’t visit her because of his busy schedule. He was there when Mark was about to graduate from Dream, and Donghyuck was left alone, facing double promotions and expectations. He was there to pack Donghyuck’s things, when the younger boy hurt his leg and was put on hiatus. 

He’s always thought that he was closer with Mark, especially in their trainee and debut days. But once he started sharing a room with Donghyuck, he quickly grew fond of him. He was a cute kid and he had a way of making people around him feel content. The younger boy was responsible, but he didn’t like staying serious and Jaehyun often indulged him, letting himself to be roped in yet another mischievous prank.

(However, he could never rope Donghyuck into one of his own schemings against Taeyong. At the mere suggestion, the younger would look at Jaehyun with round, big eyes and ask with a scandalized voice: “Against _Taeyong-hyung?”,_ as if he wasn’t the one making the _TY track_ impersonations ever since their rookie days.) 

Doting on Donghyuck came to him easily. He would let Donghyuck crawl on his lap and stay there as long as he wanted. A lot of his things belonged to Donghyuck too. If the younger complained about being cold, Jaehyun would either lend him his hoodie or close the window. When he started calling Donghyuck _baby,_ no one even pretended to be surprised. 

So when Jungwoo tells him that Donghyuck is waiting for him in their room, he makes his way to their coach and grabs one of the pillows that Doyoung gifted them a few weeks back (he insisted that their living room was _too dull),_ knowing very well that the younger won’t be able to sleep well without hugging something. He heads back to his room and, just like he predicted, finds Donghyuck already laying in his bed, more or less ready to sleep in his hyung’s bed. 

“Baby,” he says as a greeting, coming inside and closing the door behind him. Donghyuck lifts his head, squinting at him slightly. “Came here for a nap?”

“Baby,” Donghyuck whines back at him and forces himself to sit up. He rubs his eyes slightly and then sighs. “Everybody’s busy and I’m bored. Came to bother you but I guess I dozed off in the meantime.”

Jaehyun simply hums, handing him the pillow. Donghyuck sends him a small, shy smile that always appears on his face whenever someone surprises him with kind gestures. It makes him look softer and even more precious. 

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” the younger asks and Jaehyun shakes his head. 

“I was going to read my script, but it’s nothing that can’t wait,” he tells him, but Donghyuck already sits up, face lit up with curiosity. He pats the space next to him, clearly expecting Jaehyun to sit beside him. He smiles fondly and grabbing the script from his bag, settles next to the younger boy. 

Donghyuck shuffles closer, until there’s no space separating them, and Jaehyun slings his arm around him without much thought. The younger falls silent, probably mindful of disturbing Jaehyun or maybe he’s just invested in the script of his hyung. They sit like this until Donghyuck cranes his head to look at the window and sees the snow outside. 

“It’s snowing!” he exclaims, quickly scrambling away from Jaehyun to admire the view outside. It’s snowing heavily and Jaehyun guesses that it won’t take long to cover their neighbourhood in white.  
“Let’s go outside, hyung,” Donghyuck says, already heading to the door despite not hearing any reply from Jaehyun. When the older boy doesn’t move from his place, he pouts. 

“It’s late,” he says as an excuse, but that only makes the pout grow bigger. 

“C’mon, hyung, we don’t know if it’s still gonna be here tomorrow,” he says, extending his hand towards Jaehyun and wiggling his fingers a little.

“Okay,” he agrees, sighing. “Go for your jacket, we’ll meet at the ground floor.”

“You _will_ actually go with me, right?” the younger boy asks, because Jaehyun might adore him, but he’s, well - he’s Jaehyun. 

“Yes, Haechan-ah, I will. We can even make a snowman, if you’re up to it.” 

Donghyuck beams at him, standing up on his tiptoes to kiss Jaehyun on the cheek, and he lets him, too used to it to care. The younger boy leaves then and Jaehyun _does_ consider making Donghyuck wait up for him, but he’s almost sure the younger will underestimate how cold it actually is and won’t bother bringing his hat or gloves with him. So he grabs his own things and makes sure to take with him another pair of gloves and black beanie. He throws his winter coat on, ties his shoes and goes down the elevator. 

Just as he expected, Donghyuck is already waiting for him near the exit, with his padding coat haphazardly thrown over his shoulders. When he spots Jaheyun, his face lights up and he hurriedly zips up his jacket.  
“I’ve got a hood,” he says when Jaehyun hands him the beanie, but obediently puts it on his head. His smile turns sheepish, when the older raises an eyebrow and gives him a pair of warm gloves. “Thanks, hyungie.” 

They go outside together and watch the snow falling for a while, their breaths transforming into little, white clouds because of the cold temperature. Donghyuck hums under his breath and whips out his phone from the pocket of his padding coat and films a short video of the view in front of them. He looks at Jaehyun when he’s done and his smile turns sly. 

“Let’s play a mini-game,” Donghyuck says, because he knows very well that Jaehyun is as competitive as he is, if not more. “The one to make five snowmen first wins.”

“What’s on the stake?” he asks, already looking around to find an area for them to have a snowmen-making-competition. 

“The one who loses will buy the food for both us tonight,” he proposes and says the words so fast that Jaehyun’s sure he planned it sooner - probably on his way down in the elevator or even in Jaehyun’s room, when he spotted the snow falling outside of the window. 

“Okay,” Jaehyun agrees easily, moving to where the snow has gathered up the most. Donghyuck follows him, crouching down next to him. “How big should they be?” 

The younger cocks his head to the side, thinking. 

“Let’s go for the size of Mark Lee’s head,” he decides, showing the estimated size with both of his hands, and Jaehyun snorts, but agrees anyway. 

They set to work after that and both of them are silent, because they’re too competitive for their own good. He hears Donghyuck groaning and moving away to scoop up the additional snow in his hands, but Jaehyun’s too focused on his task to look over. He only allows himself to raise his head when he’s finishing the last of his snowmen, seeing that Donghyuck is still diligently working on his own creation. 

“I win,” he announces, smiling triumphantly. Donghyuck groans, mourning his loss, before finishing his last snowman. 

“This is me and Johnny hyung,” Donghyuck explains, pointing with his finger to the pair closest to him. The bigger snowman is almost twice the size of his companion. They kind of _do_ look like Johnny and Donghyuck. 

Jaehyun grabs a handful of snow from one of his snowmen and shoves it on the top of the one next to it. He smoothes out the head of the snowman he’s just stolen from and presents it to the younger boy. 

“This is me and Taeil hyung, then,” he announces and Donghyuck laughs, bright and loud. He makes his way towards Jaehyun and takes a picture of Taeil-snowman. When he’s satisfied with its quality, he instantly starts editing it, adding tons of hearts on it. Jaehyun backs up slightly, reviving his own phone from the pocket in his jacket. 

“Baby,” he calls out and when the other boy turns around, he takes a photo. 

Donghyuck whines at him instantly, telling him to at least give him a warning, because not all people can look good in _any_ photo, but Jaehyun waves him off, busying himself with looking at the picture he’s just made. 

Donghyuck looks young in it. Actually, with big, shining eyes and lips shaped in a surprised “o”, he simply looks his age. It’s easy to forget sometimes that Donghyuck started his career early and now he’s considered a veteran despite being only in his early twenties. What’s more - he keeps growing, turning more and more spectacular with each passing year. Jaehyun, as his fellow bandmate and someone who watched him grow up, can’t help but wonder what future has in store for him. After all, people like Haechan are born to be remembered. 

“Hyung,” Donghyuck says, pout forming on his lips. “Take another picture. Here, I’ll pose for you!”

Jaehyun wants to say that he doesn’t really need another picture, but he listens anyway, lifting his phone up one more time. He snaps a picture with Donghyuck beaming up at the camera with little snowmen next to him and snowflakes dancing around his small frame. Jaehyun smiles a little before showing the picture to the younger boy. 

“Great!” Donghyuck says, approving of the photo and finally standing up from his crouching position. “Now I’m super hungry. What do you want to eat, hyung? Can I pick something?” 

Jaehyun hums in approval, standing up and brushing the snowflakes stuck on Donghyuck’s hood and shoulders and letting the younger boy do the same to him afterwards. Donghyuck turns away then, already searching on his phone for the number of his favourite restaurant and walking slowly towards the entrance of the building. Jaehyun makes it to follow him, but then he looks again at the little snowmen gathered at his feet. 

He crouches down again and takes a photo of little snow-Donghyuck with a fond smile. 

* * *

Like most of the trainees in SM, Mark first hears about Donghyuck before actually meeting him. News travels fast in practice rooms and so it’s no wonder when everybody starts talking about a boy who passed the hardest audition held by the company. They already know that he moved from Jeju, that he trained dance but passed the audition with singing. Expectations are high even before he shows up and it’s a lot for a 13-years-old boy, who probably doesn’t even know that in a span of a few hours he became an unwanted rival for many. 

Mark meets him even later than everybody else. He can’t even hide the fact that he’s curious about their new addition, even if he usually keeps to himself. 

“He’s really cute,” tells him Johnny, who managed to meet Donghyuck a day before. “Very sassy too. And a year younger than you, so take care of him well.” 

It somehow makes Mark excited. Donghyuck isn’t the first younger boy than him in the company, but until now Mark couldn’t really find connection with anyone who was closer to his age, so he mainly sticks to Johnny and Jaehyun. Thought about someone being dependable on him is both exciting and terrifying. He vows to himself that he will try his best to be that kind of hyung that Johnny had been for him, when he first stepped through the doors of the practice room. 

It turns out that Johnny was right - Donghyuck  _ is  _ cute with his chubby cheeks, curly hair and bright smile. And maybe sassy isn’t really a word he would describe the kind of bravery that Donghyuck has and wears like a second skin, but he definitely has a sharp tongue and it seems that he doesn’t care about wary looks sent his way. He quickly worms his way into the hearts of many trainees. People start naturally doting on him and he soaks up all the attention with unexpected ease, unlike Mark who always squirms and fidgets whenever he feels too many eyes on him.

Rumours about Donghyuck are true, too - he’s ridiculously talented. The first time Mark hears him sing, he stops in place and stares at him, because his voice might be unpolished, but it’s this kind of the sound that you can never forget, even if you want to. He learns all of the choreographies unfairly fast, and he makes dancing look _easy,_ like he’s inviting everybody to dance with him. Where Mark is all hard work, sweat and hours spent in practice rooms, Donghyuck is an overwhelming talent, someone made by the universe to stand on stage. 

But Donghyuck also seems not to care about the hierarchy of age. He calls all of them _ noona  _ and  _ hyung _ and uses respectful language, but if he has to say something about one matter or another, he doesn’t hold back. He also doesn’t care if the current object of his teasing is somebody born a few years before him. He likes to tease, to be playful, to laugh at the mistakes they all do during practices - people rarely get angry at him and when they do, he always manages to make up for it. 

It leaves Mark confused and floundering, because somehow in the span of a few days Donghyuck manages to shake all of the fundamentals that he managed to build after arriving in Korea. He reminds Donghyuck that he’s older than him, even if he doesn’t look like it, but the younger boy just looks at him and says simply:  _ "I know that".  _ It’s hard to admit, even before himself, but Donghyuck doesn’t look like he needs guidance, at least not from somebody who is barely a year older than him and can’t even cook breakfast for himself.

They become roommates and Donghyuck isn’t allowed to come back to the dorms without Mark. The thing is - the only thing Mark has known for months now are four walls of the practice room and their dorms. It’s hard to break out of his routine to stay longer than everybody else and train more, even if it means that Donghyuck has to stay behind too. The younger boy isn’t happy about it - far from it, actually. 

“You won’t get better if you keep wearing yourself out,” he tells him one day and it’s a phrase that Mark has heard from a lot of people before, but something about Donghyuck saying it makes him mad. 

(It will be like that for years - Donghyuck having an impact on Mark bigger than anyone else. His words will anger him more than anyone else’s, but they will also make him laugh harder than any other joke. Donghyuck will always make him feel  _ more  _ \- happy, angry, excited, ashamed, brave, hopeful - and it will take years for Mark to realize that there’s nothing wrong about it.) 

They fight about it and it’s actually the first time Mark raises his voice against someone. Donghyuck doesn’t look scared or even angry, just tired, and Mark feels bad about it instantly. He never really gets angry, he’s annoyed at best - and usually he’s just annoyed with _ himself. _ In the end they make up, only to bicker about another silly thing the next day. It’s a never-ending cycle with them - Donghyuck makes fun of him, Mark gets angry, they make up and then fight again. Neither of them ever apologizes, they just look at each other and talk normally, like Mark hasn’t been screaming at Donghyuck to take things seriously just two hours earlier. 

It’s not until a few months later that Donghyuck sees him cry. It’s absolutely humiliating, because Mark kept doing everything wrong during practice and his teachers weren’t even mean about it - they’re always a tad bit nicer to younger trainees. It just seems like everything is wrong with him and he just wants to curl up in his mother’s arms the way he used to. He manages to hold in his tears until he’s back in the dorms, but then he just collapses in his bed and lets himself cry, completely forgetting that he shares a room with Donghyuck. He hears the younger boy come in and he hides his face in the pillow, but he knows that Donghyuck must have realized he’s crying from the way his whole body heaves with silent sobs. After a few seconds he hears doors closing and thinks that Donghyuck actually decided to give him some space, but then the sound of light footsteps reaches his ears and he can’t help but bite his lips in frustration. 

He knows Donghyuck isn’t mean. He’s honest and likes teasing other people, but he never means anything bad. So Mark isn’t really worried that the boy will say something hurtful, he just thinks he won’t be able to withstand a light jab or false comforting from _anybody_ right now. 

But then he feels Donghyuck laying on his bed, right beside Mark and he sees him looking right at him with wide, shining eyes. He reaches out a hand, placing it on Mark’s nape and squeezes lightly, before settling on simply resting his small fingers on Mark’s heated skin. Mark wants to say something, _anything,_ but Donghyuck just shakes his head slightly, dark hair falling over his forehead. 

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck whispers and repeats it for a second time, delicate and quiet. Then he starts singing softly a song that Mark distantly recognizes as  _ Sleepless Night _ by SHINee. He stays still the whole time, listening to the honey voice crooning about longing, resentment and lost love. He doesn’t say anything either, staying silent until Donghyuck’s voice fades into simple humming. And suddenly he realizes he relaxed completely next to the other boy singing to - _ for _ \- him. He still wants him close.

“Can you sing something by EXO too?” he asks in a raspy voice, and Donghyuck falls silent, but before Mark can feel silly about his request, he clears his throat and starts singing  _ Angel  _ softly. 

It becomes a habit after that. Whenever Mark feels overwhelmed or simply misses his family, he asks in a small voice for Donghyuck to sing. The younger boy always starts with a  _ “What do you want today?” _ and after fulfilling Mark’s request, he starts singing other songs until he actually falls asleep. Mark usually stays awake, staring at him from across a room, eyes full of wonder and heart filled with adoration for a boy whom he called his demise only a few months earlier. 

They still fight about the smallest things. Others seem worried about it until they decide it’s just a part of their weird dynamics and leave them to themselves. Donghyuck still loves teasing him, still picks on Mark the most out of all people. But he never mentions times when Mark seeks comfort in his presence and sound of his voice. It’s like a silent promise: _ it’s okay, I can be your anchor.  _

And when it’s Donghyuck’s turn to feel sad and he asks if he can have a hug, Mark lifts his blanket in a silent invitation without really thinking about it. Donghyuck crawls into his bed, sinking into space between Mark’s arms in silence, radiating warmth and something much more precious and important. It feels like friendship, the rare kind that lasts for years.

Suddenly Donghyuck becomes the funniest person he knows. He makes him laugh easily and loudly, something Mark hasn’t done ever in his life. Donghyuck is cute and hardworking and Mark likes him. He doesn’t realize it until one day Taeyong smiles at him warmly, ruffles his hair in a fond gesture and says: 

“I’m glad you’re getting along with Donghyuck. He needed a friend.”

They become friends after that, best friends even.  _ Soulmates  _ \- Donghyuck would insist fervently, screaming the word in English, and Mark would either laugh or smack his shoulder playfully. It’s when Donghyuck is on his hiatus due to his leg injury that Mark realizes that maybe the younger boy was right all along. 

He goes from having Donghyuck next to him almost all day to standing alone, without a warm presence within his reach. It feels like Donghyuck was ripped away from him. And while he was preparing for the fact that now, with his graduation from Dream, he’ll see the younger boy less, he doesn’t know what to do with himself when Donghyuck is  _ so far away _ all the time. It leaves him unsettled and worried, because Donghyuck might be surprisingly mature, but he never takes care properly of his health.

(And he knows he’s being stupid and irrational, because if there’s a person - besides Taeyong - that Donghyuck actually listens to, then it’s his mother, with whom the younger boy is currently staying with.) 

Time spent away from Donghyuck, with phone calls being the only thing connecting them, makes him realize how important the younger boy is to him. And if he’s  _ a tad  _ softer towards him when Donghyuck finally returns, then it’s only Mark’s business. 

More often than not he finds himself wishing Donghyuck would choose to lean on him and confide in him when he’s troubled with something. Donghyuck still laughs at him, but this time Mark doesn’t get offended. They still bicker a lot - to the point where the other members are done with them. But at the end of the day, if Mark has doubts about himself, if there’s something he worries about - he will always find his way to Donghyuck, just like in their trainee days.

And just like then, Mark can’t help but think:  _ I should take better care of him. _ Donghyuck breaks a bone in his leg and Mark is ushered from the hospital, because they are behind the schedule. Donghyuck cries during Dream Show and Mark can’t even be in the audience, because he’s with SuperM. Years go by, their schedules become more and more demanding, and Donghyuck keeps falling sick or getting himself injured. Mark watches his face twisted up in pain, feeling completely helpless, and thinks to himself, self-deprecating:  _ Aren’t you supposed to be his hyung? _

And while Donghyuck usually understands Mark better than anyone else, he can’t seem to understand why Mark is being so attached to the idea of being his hyung. He suggests becoming equals in public. He mentions it from time to time and with Mark always dismissing the idea, he becomes more and more frustrated, to the point of being really angry. 

“Why are you so hung up about it?” Mark asks back one day, not quite angry himself, but feeling frustrated with a recurring topic. 

“I’m so hung up about it because it’s eating you away,  _ Mark, _ ” Donghyuck tells him, saying his name in a low, sarcastic tone. “You’re beating yourself up about not being enough for me as a hyung. And for what? Does it really matter if you’re a year older than me?” 

“It’s not about the age. It’s because you’re you, Donghyuck,” he says and sees his face fall even more, before explaining quickly: “It’s because you’re so unapologetic about being yourself. Because you’re outspoken and pretty much afraid of nothing. It’s… I admire that about you, we all do, but in this world? In this world most hate people like you. They’d watch you fall and be happy about it. And I don’t want this to happen, not to you.” 

Donghyuck falls silent at that, dropping his gaze, and maybe Mark would think how rare it is, to render him speechless, if he didn’t feel so exposed and raw. 

“I know I’m not much,” he starts hesitantly, before reaching out and squeezing his hand. “And you probably think I suck at being a hyung anyway, considering the amount of times you had to take care of me. But I want to. I want to take care of you, and to protect you. And I want you to trust me. Can you… can you let me do that?”

Donghyuck looks up at his words, observing him with the kind of intensity that he usually reserves for monitoring his moves during practices. His hand in Mark’s grasp is warm and sweaty, but he doesn’t dare to let go. 

“You’re so ridiculous,” he scoffs finally, looking away. “You’ve been here for me for years, Mark. You teach me English. You play guitar for me. You help me without me asking. You remember every little thing about me. You know that there’s something wrong with me before I realize it myself. You… you make me feel good about being myself. What else do you want to do? You’re enough.” 

People usually tend to ignore the fact that Donghyuck is insanely good with his words, mainly because he usually uses this talent for humour. The truth is, he always knows what to say, which exact words he should use, what people want to hear from him. But this time Mark chooses to focus on the look in his eyes, hopelessly earnest and honest. 

“You really think I’d love you so much if you weren’t treating me well?” he asks, before ducking his head in a rare display of shyness. Mark smiles at him fondly, not for the first time in his life thinking that the day Donghyuck crawled into his bed was also the day when he sneaked into his ribcage, claiming a piece of Mark’s heart for himself forever. “You’re good to me, Mark. You’ve always been.”

“You’re good to me, too,” he confesses back, honest. Then he laughs under his breath. “Look at us, actually talking things out. We’re mature now.”

“I know, right?” says Donghyuck, easily catching on the change of tension. He sends him his trademark, sunny smile. “We’re so boring now.” 

Mark snorts then, turning his hand and interviewing their fingers together (Mark’s pale with rough fingertips from playing the guitar, and Donghyuck sun-kissed and somehow delicate), thinking: _ I’ll never fully understand how I managed to find you so early in my life.  _

If someone were to ask Mark to describe Donghyuck, he would probably choose words like:  _ the most comforting presence in my life _ or  _ a star that burns so brightly I’m sometimes afraid he’ll set me on fire the moment I touch him. _ If someone were to ask him about his favourite things about Donghyuck, he would say: __

Donghyuck has a sensitive nose. He collects candles. He likes flowers the most, so when other members learn about it, they always make sure to leave in his room colorful bouquets they win at music shows. He’s also very picky about the perfumes he uses. Mark doesn’t really care, but he has to admit that he likes it the most when Donghyuck chooses to bathe on the 10th floor and Mark lends him everything needed for a shower. He likes to nose at his neck and breathe in deeply, filling his lungs with Donghyuck and a little bit of Mark himself. 

Or: 

He loves the sea. If he shines brightly on a daily basis, then he’s absolutely _radiant_ whenever he’s on the beach. Donghyuck on the beach ultimately also means Donghyuck in shorts, which means his thighs are on display and- yeah. Mark has grown to love the sea, too. 

Or: 

He likes listening to foreign languages. He always perks up when he hears Yuta speaking in Japanese. Sometimes he asks Mark to read to him in English, eyes staring at him with full attention, even if he doesn’t understand some of more complicated words. He’s especially fond of old, French songs - he finds them on YouTube and becomes obsessed with them for literal days, humming the melody wherever he goes. 

Or: 

Donghyuck loves loudly and brightly. He declares his love in a chirpy, cute voice. He never holds back with physical affection. If he thinks somebody is cute, he will proclaim it loudly, not caring if he’s in front of cameras or in their dorms. He never thinks before saying things like that, because in his eyes showing his adoration to his members can never be wrong. 

And, most importantly: 

He also loves silently. He folds the clothes with Taeyong, talking with him about most mundane things, giving the older a speck of domestic routine - something that their leader yearns for more than he would like to admit. He orders food that’s low on fat when Jaehyun is on a diet. He makes sure to ask Jungwoo to ask how he is. He’s a keen observer and an attentive listener. It’s in his nature to care for people and he does so without really thinking about it - always ready to lend his help, time or advice. He’s selfless like that and it’s _ so  _ easy to fall in love with him. 

(The way Mark falls in love with him is silent, too. He’s not even sure when exactly it happens. It’s just that one day he looks at Donghyuck and thinks:  _ I want to make you happy. I want to be in your life as much as possible. I’ve met so many amazing people and you’re the most precious of them all. I hope I will grow old with you by my side.  _

And it just feels right. Like something just fell in its place.) 

Mark has learned and grown to love so many things about Donghyuck, he could probably write a song - or book, even - about him. He could write about his love for music, or how he likes to enjoy the smell of the food before he starts eating, or how he curls up against Mark now, when he’s tired while they’re coming to the dorms after practicing for the awards ceremonies. 

Donghyuck headed out earlier than them because of his practice with Dream and the  _ 90s love  _ unit was the last one to finish, so now exhaustion is slowly catching up with him. Mark wasn’t surprised to end up in a car on their way home with Donghyuck’s head on his shoulder, with the younger boy on the verge of falling asleep. He put his hand on Donghyuck’s thigh, playing with the material of his sweatpants and trying to warm up the skin that was exposed to the winter air while they were waiting for their car. Repetitive motion of his fingers seems to relax Donghyuck, because he snuggles even closer to him in an attempt to find a better position.

“No sleeping,” he reminds softly, because he knows that if Donghyuck takes a nap in the car, then he won’t be able to fall asleep again for a long time. He ceases the movement of his fingers despite Donghyuck’s whining, choosing to catch his hand and intertwine their fingers together instead. Donghyuck squeezes his hand back softly and straightens up with half-closed eyes. They remain silent for the rest of their ride, with the younger boy observing the view outside of the car and Mark watching his face and the way shadows dance across his soft features.

They go out of the car, wishing their manager goodnight and go inside the building. Mark throws his arm around Donghyuck, when the younger boy groans at the bright lights in the hallways and drags him to the elevator. 

“You’re not going up?” he asks confused, when Mark exits the elevator with him on the 5th floor. 

“Gonna make sure you didn’t fall asleep on the floor first,” he says and Donghyuck rolls his eyes, but reaches out to hold his hand. It’s late at night, so Mark lets him, eager to feel his warmth one more time. They make their way to the door and Donghyuck groans in relief when they finally come into the familiar hallway. 

“Shoes,” he calls out, but Donghyuck is already dragging his feet towards the coach in the living room and flopping dramatically on it. Mark rolls his eyes fondly, leaving his own shoes at the door and following after him. 

“Later,” he slurs, clearly fighting against falling asleep once again. Mark kneels besides him, working silently on his shoelaces before tugging shoes off his feet. 

There’s a bit of tan skin showing between white sock and bunched up materials of his pants. Mark touches it briefly with only his fingertips, feeling the familiar heat that is distinctly Donghyuck. Then he massages the skin delicately and leans down to leave a quick kiss on it before the younger boy decides to yank his ankle from his grasp. 

“Gross,” Donghyuck comments, twisting his neck to see him. His eyes are shining, his red hair is ruffled up, and he looks like he’s in love. Mark flushes, before standing up and telling him to shut up. 

He puts Donghyuck’s shoes on the rack, where he remembers is his spot among the rest of the members living on the 5th floor. 

“Oh, you’re back?” 

When he turns around, he sees Taeyong who must have heard noises and decided to check up on them. He’s already in his sleeping clothes and his hair is a mess, so he probably emerged straight from the bed. 

“Hey, hyung,” he says. “Sorry if we woke you up.”

“You didn’t,” he reassures easily, looking around before spotting Donghyuck still laying on the couch. “How is the baby?”

Mark smiles, hearing an offended _ Hyung! _ from a distance.

“A little tired but still conscious,” he reports. 

“Okay,” Taeyong responds, sending a fond look towards their couch. Mark is pretty sure Donghyuck is adamant about becoming one with it. “We left him some food, so reheat it if he’s up to eating. Make sure to eat it too, there’s enough for you two.”

“Thanks, hyung,” he says. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.”

“I know you will,” Taeyong replies, ruffling his hair gently. “Have a good night, kids.”

Mark smiles and Donghyuck lets out a groan that still manages to sound like a confession of his undying love for Taeyong. He makes his way back to the younger boy and smiles when he sees that Donghyuck somehow managed to take his padding coat off and now is using it as a sad excuse for a pillow. 

“Hey, baby,” he says teasingly and Donghyuck turns his head to glare at him. He’d probably look a little more scary if his eyes weren’t half-lidded and hidden by messy hair. Mark bends down to move a few bangs to see his face. “Are you going to eat?”

Donghyuck hums before sticking out his hand to show a thumb-up, so he heads to the kitchen. He’s not familiar with it as much as Donghyuck is with the one on the 10th floor, but he probably knows enough to reheat a meal for both of them. There’s a container of kimchi waiting for him in the fridge and he can’t help but feel amazed at the blatant favouritism everyone on the 5th floor is showing to their maknae.

It’s completely silent, save from occasional noises Mark makes while reheating kimchi stew. That’s why he’s able to pinpoint exactly when Donghyuck gets up from the couch and shuffles over to him. It’s actually amazing that he can hear him at all, because usually the other boy is very light on his feet - a part of the reason why his style of dancing is so graceful. Mark assumes he’s just tired, but doesn’t say anything when Donghyuck leans his head against his back, nuzzling at him like a lazy, affectionate cat. The tip of his nose is still cold and it makes goosebumps appear on Mark’s skin when it brushes against his nape. Mark reaches out back blindly to grasp at his hands and make them wrap around him, clasping their hands together on his abdomen. Donghyuck hums in appreciation and stays like that, with his nose against the skin of Mark’s neck and arms tight around his waist. 

Mark frees one of his hands to make sure that kimchi doesn’t stick to the pot, because Donghyuck might love Mark, but there’s nothing more precious than kimchi for him. Only when the younger boy starts wiggling slightly does Mark lift up his one arm and let Donghyuck duck under it, so the younger boy can stand beside him and watch his work, hungry eyes glued to the sight of his favourite dish. Mark looks at him fondly, thinking that Donghyuck looks unfairly good after hours of gruelling practice, with his moles on full display and eyes round and beautiful. 

“Pretty,” he says fondly in English. Calling Donghyuck  _ just  _ pretty surely is an understatement, when his face might as well be a map of stars, but Mark uses words like  _ ethereal  _ or  _ stunning  _ only on paper, in hopes that the other boy will read him like he always does. 

“The prettiest?” Donghyuck asks, twinkle in his eyes. 

“That’s right,” he answers without hesitation and watches as Donghyuck drops his gaze and leans away slightly. He’s always like that - tiptoeing the line of being overconfident until someone starts showering him with honest, well-deserved compliments. It’s endearing and Mark silently relishes in knowing how he can both praise him  _ and  _ make him flustered. 

“Why are you so embarrassing?” Donghyuck asks finally, voice high and whiny. He scowls at Mark for a good measure and reaches out to open the cupboard. He retrieves two bowls and fills the glasses with water, before taking the drinks with him to the table behind them.

Mark smiles to himself, feeling warm and giddy, because he’s known Donghyuck for years, even shared a room with him, but moments like these - private and domestic, when there’s only the two of them - are still rare and to be cherished.

When he deems that food is heated enough, he puts kimchi in bowls Donghyuck left out for him and takes them to the younger boy, who’s already seated by the table. He takes a seat across from him and watches for a moment how much Donghyuck enjoys the food, until the boy looks up and lifts his eyebrow in a silent question. He nudges back when Donghyuck’s foot touches his, but then decides to lock their ankles together. They eat in silence, with Donghyuck yawning from time to time and Mark blinking tiredly at him.

He takes the bowls and glasses when they’re both done and leaves them in the sink, hoping Taeyong and Doyoung won’t mind. When Donghyuck sees it, he scowls at him and starts washing the dishes by himself. Mark doesn’t waste the opportunity to slot himself against his back and rest his chin on his shoulder. He stays like that, enjoying his warmth, even when Donghyuck tells him to go home if he doesn’t plan on helping out. Mark knows he’s just pretending to be mad, especially when he all but sags against Mark’s chest when he’s done. 

He manages to coax Donghyuck out of the kitchen and pull him towards his room, ignoring the younger boy when he tells him he knows the way. When they finally reach the door to Donghyuck’s room, they both smile at each other and the younger leans into his space easily, like it’s a second nature to him. 

“See you tomorrow,” he says sweetily, before leaning in to press a kiss to Mark’s cheek. He can feel plush lips against his skin forming into a teasing smile before Donghyucks adds quietly: “Minhyung.” 

“You’re not being fair!” he sputters, pulling away from the younger boy. Donghyuck cackles, obviously enjoying Mark’s flustered face, before turning serious. 

“Well, you weren’t being fair either,” he snaps back defiantly and Mark smiles despite himself, because Donghyuck looks more embarrassed than angry. 

“But you  _ are  _ pretty,” he says sincerely and Donghyuck’s cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink at that. 

“And you  _ are  _ Minhyung, aren’t you?” he asks back,  _ Minhyung  _ rolling off his tongue carefully, like it’s something precious, meant to be private and kept between the two of them. The look in his eyes softens and he lets Mark kiss the corner of his mouth. “Goodnight, Mark Lee, I love you.” 

And he’s gone before Mark can reply, shutting the door softly. 

_ One song would never be enough,  _ Mark thinks to himself, because Donghyuck is so many things, words like _summer storm_ and _fiery eyes_ forming in his head instantly.  


But it’s okay. He has his whole lifetime to learn and write about Donghyuck after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, if you made it this far, I'd like to inform you that you've just read 50 pages of people loving Haechan and that I'd like to thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it and please ignore any mistakes, my brain doesn't want to comprehend anything anymore.  
> To those who read the Dream version of this fic, thank you so much for so many kind words and kudos, it definitely made my winter a lot warmer. <3  
> Love Haechan!!!


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